“And yes, he would also be hidden from you, even if you left the Order. But I want the seal to work only in one direction. It will keep the Order away from Gaspar. That’s what it would do, and only that. Gaspar could approach the Order, if he wanted. If he wants to see you again, he’ll be able to. He deserves that horrible freedom, and you do too, I suppose. I hope I won’t be alive for it if he wants to go back. The mark is going to drive him away from you and from me. I’m willing to make that sacrifice, and you should be too, in order to save his life. He will live with my brother. Luis is the only one who isn’t contaminated. It’s already decided, Rosario, and you’re not going to be able to stop it. If you aren’t with me, you’ll have your own decision to make.”

“You’re going to drive our son away from us, and you call that love.”

“Of course. Or is it love to steal his body?”

The most incredible thing was that we weren’t arguing. Even our voices were low, so the music would cover our conversation.

“And the Rite, Juan? Are you going to mark him before it takes place? Gaspar is the Recipient for your consciousness . . .”

“Gaspar is not the Recipient for anything. I’m going to mark him whenever the seal is given to me. I can also make the Rite fail, or pretend I can’t do it. You have to find out the rules. You or Stephen. That way I can make my plan, figure out how to stage a failure.”

Gaspar turned over in his sleep and rested his hand on Juan’s chest. He would often make that movement when he was asleep. I cried from jealousy. I was also crying because I didn’t want to decide, but I had to. The ceiling fan made the light from the bedside lamp seem to flicker; I looked into Juan’s yellowish eyes. He, too, was going to leave me behind. I didn’t answer him immediately.

“How can you even think of giving them our son?” he asked me.

“They trained me to obey,” I said.

“That convenience is over. Do I have to save Gaspar alone? Maybe I shouldn’t tell you my plans. Can’t I make you change?”

“Yes,” I replied. “I can change. Yes.”

The beach was still clean though the brown water was starting to wash up branches, dead flowers, lost hyacinths, even animals. It was always the same after a flood: the river robs, drowns, sullies, and scatters. I looked at Gaspar, who was playing on the shore. Physically, he was very different from his father. Dark hair, blue eyes, overwhelming energy. He already had a personality, and he wasn’t even three yet. He rarely threw tantrums. I only saw anxiety in his eyes when I went to spend a day in Asunción with Tali, or to teach class in Buenos Aires. But when I came back, I always found he’d been good during my absence, with Juan taking care of him, the two of them alone in that silent world they shared.