They went on talking like that for a while. The dizziness had passed, but Gaspar was no longer interested in what they said. He felt the throbbing pain in his arm; it wasn’t very intense, they’d given him a lot of painkillers, but it burned. It was going to get worse.

When he closed the door, Juan only grunted. Instead of going to Gaspar, he went toward his room: on the way, he tossed the box of gauze and medicine and disinfectant on the floor.

Gaspar wasn’t about to let him lock himself away. He wasn’t going to let his father abandon him in the living room, alone and in pain.

“Come here!” he yelled, and he felt that he no longer had pain or painkillers in his body, only a rage that made him tremble. He could kill his father now. He wanted him to realize it. “Say something, you son of a bitch!”

Gaspar stood up in the living room and waited for his father, who walked slowly back. He felt the urge to rush him and smash his head against the wall. But when he looked at him, the rage dissolved and he felt like lying on the floor and ceasing to breathe.

“Where are you, Dad? You’re not my father. My father loved me. Who are you?”

The silence was so complete that Gaspar thought this man who couldn’t be his father must have left.

“I’m empty.”

“No. No. I want you to tell me where my father is.”

“He’s here. He’s still here.”

Gaspar heard the footsteps approaching and he put out his good arm. Don’t hurt me anymore, please, he said. Juan sat down on the floor beside him. Gaspar smelled his scent, recognized it.

“You are what I love most in life, Gaspar.”

“So, what’s wrong with you? Kill me, Dad, please, I’m not scared.”

Gaspar looked into his father’s eyes and he saw a horrible craving there, a desire completely new to him, like an unknown color.

“Don’t ask that.”

“It’s what you want.”

“No. It’s not what I want.”

Gaspar felt rage well up again. Liar, he thought. He was acting. He hadn’t even asked if his arm was okay.

“I didn’t ask you because I know it’s okay.”

“Get out of my head,” growled Gaspar.

“I’m always in your head, even if you don’t realize it. Don’t close yourself off. If you do, it’s going to hurt. Enough pain, Gaspar.”