“Do you know where he lives?”

“I sent him an invitation, didn’t I? I’m not a barbarian.”

North waited.

“I’ll get my address book.”

Nodding, North let Teddi slink away, and then he glanced over at the pantry just in time to see Shaw accosted by Regina Rex.

Chapter 7

The rest of Teddi’s house was immaculate, but Shaw thought the pantry needed a good going over. There were wax-paper sleeves of saltine crackers, jar after jar of sun-dried tomatoes, and a shelf—an entire shelf—given over to various mixers and bitters and cocktail onions. It wasn’t clear what, exactly, Teddi lived off of—maybe the pimento-stuffed olives? Shaw burrowed a little deeper; there was a box in the back, and it might have been tea—

A finger ran up the curve of his backside, and Shaw jerked so hard that his head cracked against the shelf above him, and a bottle of tonic water rolled toward the edge. Shaw extricated himself from the pantry, catching the water and stumbling free.

“Oh. Hi.”

Regina Rex was black and beautiful. “Hello, gorgeous. I was looking for a cool drink of water.”

Shaw glanced at the tonic water and then at Regina.

Regina just laughed and let her finger trace the line of Shaw’s jaw. Shaw jumped again but not as high. At least, he hoped not. “Boy, you have an ass to die for. Tell me again that North isn’t tapping that. Tell me. Please. For my health.”

“We’re just friends, Regina.”

“Thank Jesus.”

“You look very nice today.”

“What an absolutely horrible thing to say, Shaw. I look ravishing.”

“Stunning.”

“Magnificent.”

“Tremendous.”

“And I look like this every day of the week. I’m twenty-four seven, boy.”

“You don’t get tired?”

For a moment, irritation simmered under the sediment of makeup, and then Regina laughed again. “You really are naughty. Sometimes I think you’re trying to provoke me. Tired? That’s the price of beauty.” Regina prowled closer, and Shaw took a step back. His shoulders bumped a pantry shelf. Something—a jar of pearl onions, probably—toppled and rolled into the back of Shaw’s neck. He reached back, trying to grab it before it fell off the shelf, but he didn’t break his gaze with Regina. Things had suddenly gotten very Animal Planet.

“Do you know who else can look this spectacular?”

Shaw shook his head. “It must be—”

“I’m being serious now, Shaw. I’m not fishing for compliments. This wig—it cost me forty dollars. The makeup—Kmart store line. This shirt is from Vintage Lockup. Honey, the only thing I’m wearing that I paid serious money for is these fake tits.” She strummed them like she was playing flamenco. “Regina Rex is the queen. Regina Rex is one of a kind. There’s nobody like Regina Rex, and there never will be. And boy, if tired is the price I pay, then I’ll put it on my Mastercard.”

“Yes, well,” Shaw fumbled the jar before it rolled off the shelf—it really was pearl onions, he thought, and that made him wonder if he was psychic, and he thought he’d have to ask Master Hermes the next time he got his aura cleansed—and because things had only gotten more Animal Planet, he just clasped the pearl onions to his chest and wormed a little deeper into the pantry. “You really do look terrific, and I—”