Chapters (25)
“I think that’s rather a silly game,” she said with studied lightness. She smiled and held out her hand. “Let’s tidy the room all up, shall we?”
But Ollie threw back her head, and set up a loud and bitter wailing.
There was something so ultimate in the despairing crying of certain children that the solid ground of sufficiency seems to crumble beneath the feet of those that hear it. To all laughter and contentment it gives the lie: upon all theories of childish happiness, even upon the very possibility of any well founded happiness upon earth, it casts a deep shadow of doubt. It seems to recall all former mirth and to cancel it, or to show at least how closely the tears are at all times lying beneath. It seems to warn the hearer that in future joy no confidence must be placed.
“Ollie! Darling Ollie!” implored Joanna half distraught. And she folded the little shaken, sobbing figure to her breast. She had dropped to the floor upon her knees before Ollie, and there she rocked her backwards and forwards, giving and taking all the solace of the blood, but unable to console the spirit of one who, like herself, could hardly endure the inevitable approach of dissolution. The tears fell from her own eyes, and all the sadness of the afternoon, itself a foretaste of death, welled up in her afresh. Even while she gained ground with the child, soothing and cheering her by degrees, her own sadness welled up and overflowed.
“Come! Dear, darling, pretty Ollie! My pet! My sweetheart! My wee lamb! My hen of gold!” She besought. “Let us make Edvina’s supper. You shall help. You shall stir the pan for me. And Roddy and you can both have splashy baths to-night. And if you like you may sleep in my bed till Mother comes for you. There! And I’ll read you Beswarragel again – the whole of it, though it’s so long. There!”
And at last, after much coaxing and cuddling, Ollie’s sobs subsided. They subsided and she was once more a happy little girl. She was just a happy little girl again, saving that every now and then she gave a curious reminiscent gulp, saving that she glanced very often up at Joanna with eyes suspiciously bright, saving that when she laughed, her laughter sounded perilously gay and boisterous.
It took Joanna a full hour and a half to finish with the children. Both in their different ways were greatly excited, and she had cause to rue some of her desperate promises, especially that one of the splashy bath before the fire.