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Contents (32)
  1. Contents
  2. About the Book
  3. ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND
  4. Author’s Note
  5. Chapter 1
  6. The Hero With A Thousand Extra Lives
  7. Chapter 2
  8. Operate Controls To Play Game
  9. Chapter 3
  10. Cereal Killers
  11. Chapter 4
  12. ‘No one Really Dies’
  13. Chapter 5
  14. If Not You, Who Else?
  15. Chapter 6
  16. Chicken Lumps In Space
  17. Chapter 7
  18. The Dark Tower
  19. Chapter 8
  20. Peace Talks, Peace Shouts
  21. Chapter 9
  22. On Earth, No one Can Hear You Say ‘Um’
  23. Chapter 10
  24. In Space, no one Is Listening Anyway
  25. Chapter 11
  26. Humans!
  27. Chapter 12
  28. Just Like The Real Thing
  29. Read On
  30. Chapter 1
  31. About the Author
  32. BOOKS BY TERRY PRATCHETT

There was a boom behind them. The walls flashed past. And suddenly they were surrounded by sky.

Johnny leaned back against the seat. His mind was blank, empty, except for something which kept on replaying itself like a piece of film.

Over and over again, his memory fired the gun. Over and over again, the alien collapsed. Action replay. Pinpoint precision. Just like the Real Thing.

Kirsty nudged him.

‘Can we steer it?’

‘Hmm? What?’ He looked vaguely at the controls. ‘Well, there’s this joystick . . .’

‘Turn us round, then. I want to watch them go through.’

‘Yes. Me too.’

The capsule turned gently in the deep void of game space, right up against the Border.

The ScreeWee fleet hurtled past. As each ship reached the Border it flickered and faded.

‘Do you think they’ve got a planet to go to, really?’

‘I think they think so.’

‘Do you think they’ll ever be back?’

‘Not now.’

‘Um . . . look . . . when I looked up and I saw that thing . . . I mean, it was so real. And I thought, but it’s alive, it’s living, how can I—’

‘Yes,’ said Johnny.

‘And then it was dead and . . . and I didn’t feel like cheering . . .’

‘Yes.’

‘When it’s real, it’s not easy. Because people die and it’s really over.’

‘Yes. I know. Over and over. D’you know what?’

‘What?’

‘My friend Yo-less thinks dreams like this are a way of dealing with real life.’

‘Yes?’

‘I think it’s the other way round.’

‘Yo-less is the black one?’

‘Yes. We call him Yo-less because he’s not cool.’

‘Anti-cool’s quite cool too.’

‘Is it? I didn’t know that. Is it still cool to say “well wicked”?’

‘Johnny! It was never cool to say “well wicked”.’

‘How about “vode”?’

‘Vode’s cool.’

‘I just made it up.’

The capsule drifted onwards.

‘No reason why it can’t be cool, though.’

‘Right.’

Game stars glittered.

‘Johnny?’

‘Yes?’

‘How come you get on with people so well? How come people always talk to you?’

‘Dunno. Because I listen, I suppose. And it helps to be stupid.’

‘Johnny?’

‘Still here.’

‘What did you mean . . . you know, back there? When you said I see aliens everywhere?’

‘Um. Can’t remember.’

‘You must have meant something.’

‘I’m not even sure there are aliens. Only different kinds of us. But I know what the important thing is. The important thing is to be exactly sure about what you’re doing. The important thing is to remember it’s not a game. None of it. Even the games.’

The ship became a dot against the night.

‘What do we do to get home? I’ve always had to die to get out.’

‘You can get out if you win.’

‘There’s a green button here.’

‘Worth a try, yes?’

‘Right.’

Light was streaming into the room when Johnny woke up. He lay in someone else’s bed and looked around through half-closed eyes.

It was like all spare rooms everywhere. There was the lamp that was a bit old-fashioned and didn’t fit in anywhere else. There was the bookcase with the books that no one read much. There was a lack of small things, apart from an ashtray on the bedside table.