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Contents (32)
  1. Contents
  2. About the Book
  3. ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND
  4. Author’s Note
  5. Chapter 1
  6. The Hero With A Thousand Extra Lives
  7. Chapter 2
  8. Operate Controls To Play Game
  9. Chapter 3
  10. Cereal Killers
  11. Chapter 4
  12. ‘No one Really Dies’
  13. Chapter 5
  14. If Not You, Who Else?
  15. Chapter 6
  16. Chicken Lumps In Space
  17. Chapter 7
  18. The Dark Tower
  19. Chapter 8
  20. Peace Talks, Peace Shouts
  21. Chapter 9
  22. On Earth, No one Can Hear You Say ‘Um’
  23. Chapter 10
  24. In Space, no one Is Listening Anyway
  25. Chapter 11
  26. Humans!
  27. Chapter 12
  28. Just Like The Real Thing
  29. Read On
  30. Chapter 1
  31. About the Author
  32. BOOKS BY TERRY PRATCHETT

‘You see aliens everywhere, don’t you,’ he said.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Nothing. Nothing. Just a thought.’

She glowered at him.

There were seat belts. They put them on. Kirsty started to drum her fingers on the panel. She seemed to be looking for something.

‘How do we open the doors?’ said Johnny.

‘All right, all right – it’s got to be here somewhere.’ She pressed a button. Behind them, the ramp rose up and hissed into place.

Johnny looked around. There really was nowhere for anyone to hide. They were aboard the escape craft. They were safe.

He didn’t feel safe. He grabbed Kirsty’s arm.

‘Wait a minute,’ he said urgently. ‘I think something’s wro—’

The screen flickered into life.

There was a ScreeWee there.

It was the Gunnery Officer.

‘Run and hide, human scum,’ he said.

They could see the screen behind him; he was on the bridge.

‘You? Where is the Captain?’ said Johnny.

‘She will be dealt with. While you run away.’

‘No!’

Kirsty nudged him.

‘Look, the ScreeWee are safe,’ she said. ‘The Border is only a few minutes away. We’ve done it all! You can’t chase around after her now! She’ll have to take her chances! That’s what she’d say if you asked her!’

‘But I can’t ask her, can I?’

He reached over and pushed a switch. There was a whirring behind them as the ramp slid down.

‘I’m going back up there,’ he said.

‘He’ll be waiting for you!’

‘Fine.’ He picked up the alien gun. ‘Which bit’s the trigger?’

She rolled her eyes. ‘This is stupid!’

‘Scared, are you?’ said Johnny. His face was pale.

‘Me?’ She shrugged and snatched the gun. ‘I’ll take this,’ she said. ‘I’m used to guns. You’ll only make a mess of it.’

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Chapter 12

Just Like The Real Thing

They ran down the ramp and back to the corridor.

‘Got a watch on?’ said Johnny.

‘Yes. We’ve got more than six minutes.’

‘I should have known!’ said Johnny, as they ran. ‘No one gets that long to escape! James Bond never turns up with enough time to have a cup of coffee and clean his shoes before he disarms the time bomb! We’re playing games again!’

‘Calm down!’

‘If we find a cat I’m going to kick it!’

The corridors were darker. Water dripped from the ceiling. There was still some steam, hissing out of broken pipes.

They reached a junction.

‘Which way?’

Kirsty pointed.

‘That way.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course.’

They disappeared into the gloom.

About thirty seconds later they reappeared, running.

‘Oh, yes, of course.’

‘Well, they all look the same, actually. It must be this way!’

This one did lead to the wide corridor with the door to the bridge at the far end.

It was open. They could see the blue and white flickering of the big screen.

Kirsty changed her grip on the gun.

‘O-kay,’ she said. ‘No messing about this time, right? No talking?’