In the meantime, he was staring at columns of numbers in an effort to make a completely illegal copy of Mr Bunky Goes Boing. It had been given four stars and declared ‘megabad!!!’, which was what Splaaaaatttt! magazine still thought meant pretty good if you were under sixteen.

He blinked at the screen, and smeared the grease on his glasses a bit more evenly.

And that was enough for tonight.

He sat back, and his eye caught sight of Only You Can Save Mankind, under a pile of other discs.

Poor old Rubber. Of course, you called people mental all the time, but there was something weird about him. His body walked around down on Earth but his brain was probably somewhere you couldn’t find with an atlas.

Wobbler shoved the disc in the drive. Odd about the game, though. There was probably a logical reason for it. That’s what computers were, logical. Start believing anything else and you were in trouble.

The title came up, and then the bit that Gobi Software had pinched from Star Wars, and then—

His jaw dropped.

Ships. Hundreds of them. Getting bigger and bigger. Yellow ships, filling the screen, so that it was just black and yellow and just yellow and then blinding white—

Wobbler ducked.

And then a black screen.

Almost black, anyway.

For a moment the words hung there—

Hi, Wobler—

– and then vanished.

*

More alarms were clanging and whooping.

Kirsty peered out from between her fingers.

‘I don’t think we hit anyone,’ said Johnny, tapping on the keys.

‘You flew straight through them!’

‘That’s right!’

‘OK, but they’ll still come after us.’

‘So now we turn round. It’ll take a little while. How’s the Captain?’

A clawed hand gripped the back of his chair, and her snout rested on his shoulder.

‘This is very bad,’ said the Captain. ‘Our engines are not designed to run at this sort of speed for any length of time. They could break down at any moment.’

‘It’s a calculated risk,’ said Johnny.

‘Really? How precisely did you calculate it?’ said the ScreeWee.

‘Well . . . not exactly calculate . . . I just thought it was worth a try,’ said Johnny.

‘You’re turning back towards the players!’

‘And we’re still accelerating,’ said Johnny.

‘What were you typing just then?’ said Kirsty.

‘Oh, nothing,’ said Johnny, grinning. ‘Just thought I saw someone I recognized. You know, as we flashed past.’

‘Why are you looking so happy?’ she demanded. ‘We’re in terrible trouble.’

‘Dunno. Because it’s my trouble, I suppose. Captain, why have all those lights over there come on?’

‘They’re the ships of the fleet,’ said the Captain. ‘The commanders want to know what’s happening.’

‘Tell them to hold on to something,’ said Johnny. ‘And tell them – tell them they’re going home.’

They both looked at him.

‘Oh, yes, very impressive,’ said Kirsty. ‘Very dramatic. All very—’

‘Shut up.’

‘What?’

‘Shut up,’ said Johnny again, his eyes not leaving the screen.