Back Only You Can Save Mankind Save as PDF
Contents ( 32)
  1. Contents
  2. About the Book
  3. ONLY YOU CAN SAVE MANKIND
  4. Author’s Note
  5. Chapter 1
  6. The Hero With A Thousand Extra Lives
  7. Chapter 2
  8. Operate Controls To Play Game
  9. Chapter 3
  10. Cereal Killers
  11. Chapter 4
  12. ‘No one Really Dies’
  13. Chapter 5
  14. If Not You, Who Else?
  15. Chapter 6
  16. Chicken Lumps In Space
  17. Chapter 7
  18. The Dark Tower
  19. Chapter 8
  20. Peace Talks, Peace Shouts
  21. Chapter 9
  22. On Earth, No one Can Hear You Say ‘Um’
  23. Chapter 10
  24. In Space, no one Is Listening Anyway
  25. Chapter 11
  26. Humans!
  27. Chapter 12
  28. Just Like The Real Thing
  29. Read On
  30. Chapter 1
  31. About the Author
  32. BOOKS BY TERRY PRATCHETT

‘Can you talk to her?’

‘She is under orders. I fear that I will only be allowed to say “Aaargh!”,’ said the Captain. ‘But feel free to make the attempt. I have no other options.’

Oh, well – you only die a few hundred times, thought Johnny. He stepped out into the corridor.

The guard turned to look at him, and half raised a melted-looking thing that nevertheless very clearly said ‘gun’. But she looked at him in puzzlement.

She’s never seen a human before! he thought.

He spread his arms wide in what he hoped was an innocent-looking way, and smiled.

Which just goes to show that you shouldn’t take things for granted because, as the Captain told him later, when a ScreeWee is about to fight she does two things. She spreads her front pairs of arms wide (to grip and throttle) and exposes her teeth (ready to bite).

The guard raised the gun.

Then there was a thunderous knocking on the other side of the cabin door.

The guard made a simple mistake. She should have ignored the knocking, loud and desperate though it was, and concentrated on Johnny. But she tried to keep the gun pointing in his general direction while she pressed a panel by the door. After all, it was only the Captain in there, wasn’t it? And the Captain was still the Captain, even if she was locked up. She could keep an eye on both of them . . .

The door opened a little way. A foot came out, swinging upwards, and caught the guard under the snout. There was a click as all its teeth met. Its eyes crossed.

Someone shouted: ‘Haiii!’

The guard swayed backwards. Kirsty came through the door airborne and started hacking at the guard’s arms with her hands. It dropped the gun. She picked it up in one movement. The guard opened its mouth to bite, spread its arms to grip and throttle, and then went cross-eyed because the gun barrel was suddenly thrust between its teeth.

‘Don’t . . . swallow . . .’ said Kirsty, very deliberately.

There was a sudden, very heavy silence. The guard stayed very still.

‘This is a friend of mine,’ said Johnny.

‘Oh, yes,’ said the Captain. ‘Sigourney. One of your warriors. Is she a friend of mine?’

‘At the moment,’ said Sigourney, without moving her head. She had tied one of the strips of webbing from the Captain’s bed around her forehead. She was breathing heavily. There was a wild glint in her eye. Johnny suddenly felt very sorry for the guard.

‘You know, I’m glad she’s a friend of mine,’ said the Captain.

‘Ee ee ogg ee?’ said the guard. Its arms were trembling. The ScreeWee didn’t sweat, but this one would probably have liked to.

‘We’d better tie her up and put her in the cabin,’ said Johnny.

‘Ees!’ said the guard.

‘I could just fire,’ said Sigourney wistfully.

‘No!’ said Johnny and the Captain together.