He wobbled. It was glandular, he said. He wobbled especially when he ran. Bits of Wobbler headed in various directions; it was only on average that he was running in any particular direction.

But he was good at games. They just weren’t the ones that people thought you ought to be good at. If ever there was an Inter-Schools First-One-To-Break-The-Unbreakable-Copy-Protection-on-Galactic-Thrusters, Wobbler wouldn’t just be in the team, he’d be picking the team.

‘Yo, Wobbler,’ said Johnny.

‘It’s not cool to say Yo any more,’ said Wobbler.

‘Is it rad to say cool?’ said Johnny.

‘Cool’s always cool. And no one says rad any more, either.’

Wobbler looked around conspiratorially and then fished a package from his bag.

‘This is cool. Have a go at this.’

‘What is it?’ said Johnny.

‘I cracked Fighter Star TeraBomber,’ said Wobbler. ‘Only don’t tell anyone, right? Just type FSB. It’s not much good, really. The space bar drops the bombs, and . . . well . . . just press the keys, you’ll see what they do . . .’

‘Listen . . . you know Only You Can Save Mankind?’

‘Still playing that, are you?’

‘You didn’t, you know, do anything to it, did you? Um? Before you gave me a copy?’

‘No. It wasn’t even protected. Didn’t have to do anything except copy the manual. Why?’

‘You did play it, didn’t you?’

‘A bit.’ Wobbler only played games once. Wobbler could watch a game for a couple of minutes, and then pick up the joystick and get top score. And then never play it again.

‘Nothing . . . funny . . . happened?’

‘Like what?’ said Wobbler.

‘Like . . .’ Johnny hesitated. He could tell Wobbler, and then Wobbler would laugh, or not believe him, or say it was just some bug or something, some kind of trick. Or a virus. Wobbler had discs full of computer viruses. He didn’t do anything with them. He just collected them, like stamps or something.

He could tell Wobbler, and then somehow it wouldn’t be real.

‘Oh, you know . . . funny.’

‘Like what?’

‘Weird. Um. Lifelike, I suppose.’

‘It’s sposed to be. Just like the real thing, it says. I hope you’ve read the manual properly. My dad spent a whole coffee break copying that.’

Johnny gave a sickly grin.

‘Yes. Right. Better read it, then. Thanks for Star Fighter Pilot—’

‘TeraBomber. My dad brought me back Alabama Smith and the Jewels of Fate from the States. You can have a copy if you give me the disc back.’

‘Right,’ said Johnny.

‘It’s OK.’

‘Right,’ said Johnny.

He never had the heart to tell Wobbler that he didn’t play half the games Wobbler passed on. You couldn’t. Not if you wanted time to sleep and eat meals. But that was all right because Wobbler never asked. As far as Wobbler was concerned, computer games weren’t there for playing. They were for breaking into, rewriting so that you got extra lives or whatever, and then copying and giving away to everyone.