Kiersten was the only one from her boat who wasn’t vying for the attention of her skipper during dinner. Instead, all her energies were directed at Josh, and it was quite entertaining watching it all unfold. She was behaving as though she’d been at sea for months with nary a male in sight, rather than on a boat for one whole night and one whole day. And she was ploughing through the white wine like it was water.

The flirtations began as giggles – everything Josh said was hilarious, even when he wasn’t saying it to her – and then she ratcheted it up a few notches by adding hair twisting and licking her lips a lot. All the while, she was getting drunker.

When she put her hand on Josh’s thigh, he jumped in his chair, then scooched it so close to mine, our elbows bumped while we ate. Marie, Hannah, Gerry and I watched this spectacle while swapping amused looks.

‘So, Hannah, how do you like the calamari?’ I asked, as though nothing weird was happening to my left.

‘Hmm. I can do the whole Greek salad thing, but I can’t say I’m particularly into the rest of Greek food so far.’ Her face scrunched up as she looked up and down the table at the array of dishes.

I shook my head at her. ‘You’re gonna be pretty hungry for the rest of the trip if we don’t find you something you like.’

Marie tried to help. ‘Goat?’ she asked, passing Hannah a plate piled high with roasted goat meat. Hannah’s face went from scrunched to contorted, and Marie put the goat back where it had come from. She looked at me with a smile. ‘I guess not.’

Just then Kiersten laughed loudly and Josh practically climbed onto my lap. ‘You alright there?’ I asked him quietly.

‘Not really,’ he said, pointedly. ‘Please help me,’ he added in an urgent whisper.

I made eye contact with him. ‘Seriously?’

‘Yes.’

‘Like, how much help do you want?’

‘A large amount of help.’

‘Like, “pretend to be your girlfriend” level of help?’

‘Yes. Please.’

I looked over at Marie, who was listening in. ‘Can you please hand me the goat?’

She passed it over, and I made a huge show of putting some on Josh’s plate. ‘Here you go, babe,’ I said loudly enough for almost everyone at the table to hear. ‘You wanted to try the goat, right?’

Josh caught on. ‘Sure, honey. Thanks.’ I took a piece of tomato from his plate with my fingers, and put it in my mouth, licking my fingers seductively.