Less than two weeks earlier I’d embarked on a trip not knowing what would happen, who I’d meet, or how I’d feel when it was over. I’d hoped, at the very least, for some sort of rejuvenating experience like they mention in the brochures. Sun, sea, cocktails – that sort of thing.

How could I possibly have predicted I would return with more yearning than I’d left with? That I’d want to shake up my life so much, that I was considering a future with someone I’d only just met?

I felt raw. I’d have to fix that before I made any decisions about the silver fox and the sexy American boy.

In a few hours, I would be with my sister in her London flat, and for the next week, we’d hang out and talk and drink wine and go shopping. Be normal. That’s what I needed – to be normal and spend time with someone I was sure about – my closest friend, my sis. Get some clarity and perspective on everything. Surely, if I put James off for a few days he’d understand.

I wondered if Josh really would call like he’d said.

The taxi ride was uneventful. Checking in, flying, landing, immigration and baggage claim – all uneventful. I moved through these activities as if by rote, my mind churning with possibilities, and my heart oscillating between joy, excitement, fear, and sadness – a kaleidoscope of feelings and thoughts.

The sliding doors opened and I walked into a throng of people, all waiting for someone who wasn’t me. I could see the disappointment on their respective faces as they looked over my shoulder for the next arriving passenger.

‘Sez!’ My sister’s voice cut through the crowd, and I saw her with her arms outstretched. I dropped my bags as she ran over and enveloped me in a big hug – well, as big a hug as a tiny person can give.

‘Hey,’ I said, hugging her back. ‘I’ve only been gone ten days.’

‘I know, but I missed you. I’m so glad it’s half-term and we’ve got the whole week together. We’re going to have so much fun!’ Her enthusiasm was infectious, and I found myself grinning at her. And just being there with her made everything feel like it was going to be okay. No matter what happened, I would always have my little sis.

Like she had when I’d arrived a couple of weeks before, she took over steering the luggage trolley. I was shattered, so I let her. ‘All right. This way,’ she said, leading the way through the crowd to the car park. When we got to the car, away from the crowds, she turned to me and asked, ‘So? How was it?’

How was it?