“Well, what does your partner think?”

“That’s the thing. He doesn’t agree with me. He’s completely sure,” Tara replied.

John paused for a moment. “Well, this is your first case,” he started. “Your partner’s been doing this a very long time, right?”

“Yeah,” Tara affirmed, feeling her heart begin to sink. He was doubting her too.

“Maybe you should trust him,” he said. “At this point in your career, I wouldn’t do anything that’ll ruffle feathers, you know what I mean?”

Tara sighed. In a way he was right, but it was still a feeling she couldn’t quite shake off.

“I just wouldn’t go against your partner unless you were absolutely certain. That’s all I’m saying,” John added. “You’re very new at this. They’re still gaining confidence in you, so you don’t want to do anything to jeopardize that.”

He’s right. He’s completely right, Tara thought to herself .

“Yeah, I know,” she replied. “Maybe I should just let it go.”

“Just try to focus on more positive things,” John said before explaining his plans for when she got home—that he would take her out to dinner to celebrate her first case being over.

But as he spoke, Tara’s mind spiraled elsewhere—onto the case, onto her doubt, and then onto her exhaustion as she let out a yawn.

“But you should get some sleep. I’m sure you need it,” John finally said.

His words reminded her how little sleep she’d gotten throughout the case, and the thought of being able to get some suddenly excited her. After agreeing to his suggestion, and saying their goodbyes, Tara was soon off the phone, leaving her alone once again.

She finished eating her now completely cold pizza, but she didn’t care how cold it was. Her body needed it, and as she ate, she mulled over John’s words in her head. In a way, John was right. She didn’t have anything to prove her feeling, and maybe that’s all it was—a feeling. It was too early in her career to make rash moves.

After she finished her dinner, she got ready for bed and allowed her body to fall limp against the mattress. At moments, the compass and her doubts crept into her mind, but she pushed them away as she allowed the sleep she so desperately needed to wash over her.

***

Tara kicked the blankets away from her feet once again and shifted onto her side. She’d been lying in bed for hours, but her eyes had yet to feel heavy. Tara forcefully shut them once again and focused on clearing her mind of any thoughts. But each time she got closer to sleep, a thought seeped into her mind—that lingering doubt.

Her eyes popped open once again and this time she saw that the curtains were beginning to lighten as the beginnings of dawn filtered into the room. What time is it? she wondered as she reached for her phone on the bedside table. 5 AM. Tara let out a frustrated sigh. She knew her chance at sleep had come and gone.