Tell me about it. I feel like a beached whale.

I had peppermint tea. She had white wine. After one sip she blurted out that they were at a point in their relationship where it was either going to lead to marriage or a prolonged cohabitation with no end in sight.

So how?

He hasn’t mentioned it, but I have a feeling that it will come up soon.

Why don’t you mention it?

I don’t know. I guess I still believe in courtship.

Are you happy?

Yeah. I think we’re really meant for this. Never thought I’d love again. I think I want kids…

Does he?

Yeah… He talks to Omar a lot. You know, about the future.

Really?

Yeah, it’s good that they can talk.

It’s important.

So Del, what do I do? I need to know where I stand!

You don’t want to seem desperate, so just wait a bit more.

For how long? Maybe he’s not sure.

I really doubt that. You guys are good. Just give it some time. Trust him.

That’s just it. Trust. Can I really? Is this guy for real? After what I’ve been through?

Shit, Sumi. Look at me. I am going to be a mum! I’m fucking scared. This is for real!

And there it was. It all came out. How I did not want to end up like my mother, distant and afraid. How I wanted to love my child, to be everything a mother should be and more. How petrified I was. How everything was so unknown.

Lisa kept saying, The birth is a few hours but you will have to parent your child for the rest of your life. All my focus had been on the birth and the pregnancy, being well and healthy. What if I became a shitty mother? What if I didn’t bond with my child? What if I developed post-natal depression? What if my milk didn’t come through? What if I tore badly during the birth? Would I still be able to have sex? Would it hurt?

Sumi heard me out. She sat and listened and held my hand all the way through dinner and dessert and walked me to the car and made sure I put my seatbelt on.

Get Omar to call as soon as you go into labour, okay? Go home and get some sleep. Rest. Stop worrying. You have to take this one step at a time.

I nodded.

Hey, Fairman will ask you to marry him. I know it.

Sumi nodded and blew a kiss.

SMS me when you get home?

I drove out of the parking lot and eased the car onto the street, thinking of what we’d said to each other. Omar was working late so the thought of a hot bubble bath and another cup of tea was comforting as I drove past young couples, clutching each other, readying for the night of partying ahead. I drove slowly, deliberately. Home was minutes away.