I nodded and looked out the window. The day was perfect. It had rained the night before and I had slept deeply, lulled into a cavernous universe. I had dreamt well and woke rested and fresh. The air was cool, lush, green. The leaves had been bathed and were glossy with hope.

Marina sat in the corner and lit a cigarette. Omar’s sister Lulu poured herself more white wine.

Lulu had arrived from London the night before. She was jetlagged, had barely slept and was already on the way to being completely drunk.

Eh, jangan minum sampai mabuk, okay. The party hasn’t started yet!

But Lulu didn’t care. Then there was a knock at the door and Omar’s mother walked in.

It’s time.

Lulu swigged the last of the wine, pressed some lipstick onto her already crimson lips and said,This is it! She giggled excitedly.

I started walking out the door, Marina and Lulu following me. Marina towering in heels and a sequined pink kebaya. Lulu in a white baju kurung.

I entered the living room and was gestured to a chair. Beautiful Persian carpets had been brought out and spread on the floor, where people I didn’t know sat, men on one side, women on the other. I felt as if all their eyes were on me. In the centre sat Omar and the Kadi, facing each other. The air was thick with expectation, incense and the sweet scent of white lilies. I sat down, my stomach in knots. Omar’s head was bowed, his eyes closed. He was wearing a cream-coloured baju melayu and a songkok. We had matching outfits. He looked so handsome. Our eyes met and he smiled. I felt better. He got up and walked towards me. All heads turned. I wanted to run back into the room. All those eyes staring.

Omar kissed me on the forehead. I took his hand and kissed it. That was it, the gesture had sealed us as man and wife. He led me to the centre of the room and the Kadi recited a blessing. I heard cameras clicking.

Bismillah-ir-rahman-ir Rahim. Allahu Akhbar, Allahu Akhbar, Allahu Akhbar.

It was done.

Then, a blur. Food. Plenty of it. Lamb kurma, beef rendang, pickled little pink onions that looked like baby mice. Us seated at the head of the tent, glass chandeliers above. Omar feeding me with his right hand. Me feeding him back. Papa looking lost. Fairman, Sumi and Imran waving like mad and blowing kisses. I took a sip of the sickly sweet pink drink and felt my stomach lurch. I got up, excused myself.

Omar looked concerned. You okay, sayang?

Marina grabbed my hand. Kenapa? What’s the matter?

I smiled weakly and said that I had to go the bathroom.