I saw Malique, whom we were dirty dancing with earlier, Karin sandwiched in between. He was her favourite make-up artist, and a real party animal. He was stretched out on a couch in the corner and in the dark I could see his eyes and trademark smoky-eye make-up.

Hey, have you seen Karin?

Del…fuck man…still tripping…can’t stand any more…penat sial. He grinned sloppily.

Have you seen Karin?

I think…I saw her leave…

What? Who with?

Dunno, he shrugged, started giggling and lit a cigarette, Hey…chill out lah…Karin can look after herself.

I suddenly felt anxious. This was the horror about coming down. The anxiety. The imagined panic. The fear. I ground my teeth and immediately popped some gum.

Hey man, got any valium?

Malique was talking to someone else, a girl with thick eyebrows and a skirt hiked up her thighs. Her eyes were glazed and she was slumped in a corner. She mumbled and struggled to get up then staggered back onto the couch. Malique started giggling even more.

I sat on a chair for a while, thinking, trying to think of what to do. Everything was a blur. I didn’t recognise faces, they all became shadow-blobs, moving, dancing shadows.

The music started rising again and Malique couldn’t hear me. My throat was clammed up and the slinky waves of panic jiggled harder inside me. I started shivering.

Sign number three.

I had to figure out what to do. I didn’t want to stay in the club. Not anymore. Only the hardcore druggies would be left—they’d have the club all to themselves and keep going for another 24 hours. I’d heard stories of orgies and heroin and overdosing. The club stank of stale air. I stank too.

I took a quick look around and went into the toilet. Someone was throwing up. There was a girl sitting against the wall, head lolling to the side. Karin was not answering her phone. The air smelled of dank sweat and vomit. I ran.

I rushed out of the front door and gasped. I realised that I had been holding my breath after I ran out of the toilet. The light hit me, my eyes hurt. I blinked them open. I took a final gulp of water and threw away the bottle. Swallowed. Took a deep breath. Above, the sky was pretty, like pink and orange cotton candy.

The road was deserted, silent. I walked up the road, my heels click-clacking on the road.

Fuck Karin. Fuck. Fuck. This is the last time I’m doing this with you.

I was mad as hell. Karin had a terrible habit of disappearing with people, especially ones she’d just met. If they had drugs, she was gone in a heartbeat. She had the constitution of an elephant, which I could only attribute to her genes. Once she told me she had popped five E’s in one night.