We heard Alba laughing from the living room. She imagined herself in a playground, finding joy in random objects—an open magazine, a make-up brush, a tube of pink lipstick. Look mama, she waved the brush around and brushed her cheek with it.

Look at her, so cute! Marina exclaimed.

I missed Marina. She said she was working non-stop. I found a sugar daddy who really, really likes me, and I think I have saved enough to afford the operation, I think it’s time to snip it off, what you think?

Who is this guy? I asked. Is this the guy with the Ferrari?

Yeah, she answered shyly. He’s really nice. He’s not really a sugar daddy because I don’t really want his money. He pays, but that’s it, I don’t want anything more from him.

I was wary of course, a rich man professing undying love for a trans sex worker from Sabah seemed too good to be true, but perhaps it really was true love and Marina had finally struck gold. I was happy for her, but I told her: Go slow, don’t rush into anything and give it more time.

More time? But it’s been more than a year! Come on, Del, be happy!

I am! Really, I am, but can you trust this guy?

Trust? Can you ever trust anyone one hundred per cent? Ala, don’t be like this…

She started coughing furiously and I rushed to get her a glass of water.

I am sorry, but I just don’t want him to hurt you. You know, I’m worried, as your friend.

Del, I don’t want your worry, okay, you just worry about your daughter and husband, dah cukup, no need to worry about me!

Then I knew that she was angry, I had said all the wrong things, I should have been happy for her, I should have celebrated the fact that Marina was going to finally be the woman she had only dreamed off. Loved, snipped and titted.

I think you should go, let me rest, sayang, just let me rest okay?

I sat in silence, twisting my hands, racking my head of what to say to make it all better. She was visibly upset and I chided myself again for being insensitive. I said that she of all people deserved love, that she had suffered enough and that if this man really loved her then she should accept all that he was willing to give her.

She kept coughing and asked me to go. I don’t want Alba to get sick. I will call soon okay.

I got up and said, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that…really. I’m happy for you.

Then I grabbed Alba who screamed Mama, Mama, no, no! and ran down the stairs carrying her, almost tripping in my haste.