That’s just it. Trust. Can I really? Is this guy for real? After what I’ve been through?

Shit, Sumi. Look at me. I am going to be a mum! I’m fucking scared. This is for real!

And there it was. It all came out. How I did not want to end up like my mother, distant and afraid. How I wanted to love my child, to be everything a mother should be and more. How petrified I was. How everything was so unknown.

Lisa kept saying, The birth is a few hours but you will have to parent your child for the rest of your life. All my focus had been on the birth and the pregnancy, being well and healthy. What if I became a shitty mother? What if I didn’t bond with my child? What if I developed post-natal depression? What if my milk didn’t come through? What if I tore badly during the birth? Would I still be able to have sex? Would it hurt?

Sumi heard me out. She sat and listened and held my hand all the way through dinner and dessert and walked me to the car and made sure I put my seatbelt on.

Get Omar to call as soon as you go into labour, okay? Go home and get some sleep. Rest. Stop worrying. You have to take this one step at a time.

I nodded.

Hey, Fairman will ask you to marry him. I know it.

Sumi nodded and blew a kiss.

SMS me when you get home?

I drove out of the parking lot and eased the car onto the street, thinking of what we’d said to each other. Omar was working late so the thought of a hot bubble bath and another cup of tea was comforting as I drove past young couples, clutching each other, readying for the night of partying ahead. I drove slowly, deliberately. Home was minutes away.

I waited for the lights to turn green, and as I turned onto the road, I heard a crash and a hard jolt on my right. The force pulled my body to the left, something hit my head then I blacked out.

I woke up and heard shouting. The windscreen was spiderwebbed and through it I saw a couple screaming at each other. A hard knock on the driver’s side window. Slowly, I wound it down.

Are you all right? Can you open the door?

An old Chinese face looked kindly down at me.

My arm hurt, but I got the door open, unclicked the seatbelt and tried to get out of the car.

His eyes flicked with concern when he saw my belly and he started dialling his handphone.

I am going to call an ambulance. Are you feeling okay? Is there anyone I can call? Your husband?