Back Oh, Money! Money!
Chapters (30)
  1. OH, MONEY! MONEY!
  2. *
  3. Contents
  4. *
  5. Chapter I - Exit Mr. Stanley G. Fulton
  6. Chapter II - Enter Mr. John Smith
  7. Chapter III - The Small Boy at the Keyhole
  8. Chapter IV - In Search of Some Dates
  9. Chapter V - In Miss Flora's Album
  10. Chapter VI - Poor Maggie
  11. Chapter VII - Poor Maggie and Some Others
  12. Chapter VIII - A Santa Claus Held Up
  13. Chapter IX - "Dear Cousin Stanley"
  14. Chapter X - What Does it Matter?
  15. Chapter XI - Santa Claus Arrives
  16. Chapter XII - The Toys Rattle Out
  17. Chapter XIII - The Dancing Begins
  18. Chapter XIV - From Me to You with Love
  19. Chapter XV - In Search of Rest
  20. Chapter XVI - The Fly in the Ointment
  21. Chapter XVII - An Ambassador of Cupid's
  22. Chapter XVIII - Just a Matter of Begging
  23. Chapter XIX - Still Other Flies
  24. Chapter XX - Frankenstein: Being a Letter from John Smith to Edward D. Norton, Attorney at Law
  25. Chapter XXI - Sympathies Misplaced
  26. Chapter XXII - With Every Jim a James
  27. Chapter XXIII - Reflections—Mirrored and Otherwise
  28. Chapter XXIV - That Miserable Money
  29. Chapter XXV - Exit Mr. John Smith
  30. Chapter XXVI - Reenter Mr. Stanley G. Fulton

"But it is—your part. Listen. I'm off for South America, say, on an exploring tour. In your charge I leave certain papers with instructions that on the first day of the sixth month of my absence (I being unheard from), you are to open a certain envelope and act according to instructions within. Simplest thing in the world, man. Now isn't it?"

"Oh, very simple—as you put it."

"Well, meanwhile I'll start for South America—alone, of course; and, so far as you're concerned, that ends it. If on the way, somewhere, I determine suddenly on a change of destination, that is none of your affair. If, say in a month or two, a quiet, inoffensive gentleman by the name of Smith arrives in Hillerton on the legitimate and perfectly respectable business of looking up a family pedigree, that also is none of your concern." With a sudden laugh the lawyer fell back in his chair.

"By Jove, Fulton, if I don't believe you'll pull this absurd thing off!"

"There! Now you're talking like a sensible man, and we can get somewhere. Of course I'll pull it off! Now here's my plan. In order best to judge how my esteemed relatives conduct themselves under the sudden accession of wealth, I must see them first without it, of course. Hence, I plan to be in Hillerton some months before your letter and the money arrive. I intend, indeed, to be on the friendliest terms with every Blaisdell in Hillerton before that times comes."

"But can you? Will they accept you without references or introduction?"

"Oh, I shall have the best of references and introductions. Bob Chalmers is the president of a bank there. Remember Bob? Well, I shall take John Smith in and introduce him to Bob some day. After that, Bob'll introduce John Smith? See? All I need is a letter as to my integrity and respectability, I reckon, so my kinsmen won't suspect me of designs on their spoons when I ask to board with them. You see, I'm a quiet, retiring gentleman, and I don't like noisy hotels."

With an explosive chuckle the lawyer clapped his knee. "Fulton, this is absolutely the richest thing I ever heard of! I'd give a farm to be a fly on YOUR wall and see you do it. I'm blest if I don't think I'll go to Hillerton myself—to see Bob. By George, I will go and see Bob!"

"Of course," agreed the other serenely. "Why not? Besides, it will be the most natural thing in the world—business, you know. In fact, I should think you really ought to go, in connection with the bequests."

"Why, to be sure." The lawyer frowned thoughtfully. "How much are you going to give them?"

"Oh, a hundred thousand apiece, I reckon."

"That ought to do—for pin money."