Back Oh, Money! Money! Save as PDF
Chapters (30)
  1. OH, MONEY! MONEY!
  2. *
  3. Contents
  4. *
  5. Chapter I - Exit Mr. Stanley G. Fulton
  6. Chapter II - Enter Mr. John Smith
  7. Chapter III - The Small Boy at the Keyhole
  8. Chapter IV - In Search of Some Dates
  9. Chapter V - In Miss Flora's Album
  10. Chapter VI - Poor Maggie
  11. Chapter VII - Poor Maggie and Some Others
  12. Chapter VIII - A Santa Claus Held Up
  13. Chapter IX - "Dear Cousin Stanley"
  14. Chapter X - What Does it Matter?
  15. Chapter XI - Santa Claus Arrives
  16. Chapter XII - The Toys Rattle Out
  17. Chapter XIII - The Dancing Begins
  18. Chapter XIV - From Me to You with Love
  19. Chapter XV - In Search of Rest
  20. Chapter XVI - The Fly in the Ointment
  21. Chapter XVII - An Ambassador of Cupid's
  22. Chapter XVIII - Just a Matter of Begging
  23. Chapter XIX - Still Other Flies
  24. Chapter XX - Frankenstein: Being a Letter from John Smith to Edward D. Norton, Attorney at Law
  25. Chapter XXI - Sympathies Misplaced
  26. Chapter XXII - With Every Jim a James
  27. Chapter XXIII - Reflections—Mirrored and Otherwise
  28. Chapter XXIV - That Miserable Money
  29. Chapter XXV - Exit Mr. John Smith
  30. Chapter XXVI - Reenter Mr. Stanley G. Fulton

Miss Maggie meditated; then, a little tremulously she drew in her breath. She lifted startled eyes to his face.

"Why, you'd have to tell them that—that you did it for a test, wouldn't you?"

"If I told the truth—yes."

"And they'd know—they couldn't help knowing—that they had failed to meet it adequately."

"Yes. And would that help matters any—make things any happier, all around?"

"No—oh, no," she frowned despairingly.

"Would it do anybody any REAL good, now? Think of that."

"N-no," she admitted reluctantly, "except that—that you'd be doing right."

"But WOULD I be doing right? And another thing—aside from the mortification, dismay, and anger of my good cousins, have you thought what I'd be bringing on you?"

"ME!"

"Yes. In less than half a dozen hours after the Blaisdells knew that Mr. John Smith was Stanley G. Fulton, Hillerton would know it. And in less than half a dozen more hours, Boston, New York, Chicago,—to say nothing of a dozen lesser cities,—would know it—if there didn't happen to be anything bigger on foot. Headlines an inch high would proclaim the discovery of the missing Stanley G. Fulton, and the fine print below would tell everything that happened, and a great deal that didn't happen, in the carrying-out of the eccentric multi- millionaire's extraordinary scheme of testing his relatives with a hundred thousand dollars apiece to find a suitable heir. Your picture would adorn the front page of the yellowest of yellow journals, and—"

"MY picture! Oh, no, no!" gasped Miss Maggie.

"Oh, yes, yes," smiled the man imperturbably. "You'll be in it, too. Aren't you the affianced bride of Mr. Stanley G. Fulton? I can see them now: 'In Search of an Heir and Finds a Wife.'—'Charming Miss Maggie Duff Falls in Love with Plain John Smith,' and—"

"Oh, no, no," moaned Miss Maggie, shrinking back as if already the lurid headlines were staring her in the face.

Mr. Smith laughed.

"Oh, well, it might not be so bad as that, of course. But you never can tell. Undoubtedly there are elements for a pretty good story in the case, and some man, with nothing more important to write up, is bound to make the most of it somewhere. Then other papers will copy. There's sure to be unpleasant publicity, my dear, if the truth once leaks out."

"But what—what HAD you planned to do?" she faltered, shuddering again.