I shifted my weight in the booth, suddenly uncomfortable on every level. My big mouth strikes again. I’d brought it up in the first place. Might as well clear the air about some of those family skeletons.

The server returned, setting down our plates of food. I waited for her to finish before continuing.

“It goes back to when my dad died, ten years ago.”

“Oh, gosh. You were so young.” Bailey’s hazel eyes brimmed with sympathy. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for all of you.”

Breaking eye contact, I grabbed a slider and set it on my plate, giving myself a moment. While her intentions were pure, this was why I had dragged my feet on bringing this up—I hated the way people reacted. Being on the receiving end of pity never sat well with me. Although it shouldn’t, it made me feel weak.

“Yeah, well …” I kept my gaze fixed on my pint of beer. “It was a helicopter crash. I meant to tell you about it sooner. Just hard to slip that one into casual conversation.”

A sudden wave of guilt hit me. In addition to avoiding my dad as a topic of conversation, I avoided memories associated with him too. I had tons of his photos and NHL memorabilia at my mom’s house. They should have been displayed in my bedroom, but it was too hard to look at it all every day.

Maybe I was weak.

Bailey reached across the table, taking my hand in hers. Being comforted by someone felt unfamiliar, but surprisingly, I didn’t hate it. Probably because it was different with her. Everything was different with her.

“He was in Jersey, trying to make it back for my hockey game in Connecticut with his friend’s private helicopter,” I added. “His friend had an experienced pilot, but they hit an unexpected storm, and that was it. Chopper went down, and all that was left was the black box.”

Followed by a swarm of predatory reporters climbing all over the crash site. I still hated the fucking press. That would probably become an issue someday when I had to actually talk to them.

Of course, he never would have been on that helicopter if I hadn’t guilt-tripped him into coming home. It was my first season on a top-tier team, and all I’d been thinking about was myself. I never should have asked him to come.

I would never forget the way my mother had screamed when she received that phone call. The way she sank to her knees in the middle of our kitchen. The way a light went out inside her that never fully returned.

A knot formed in my stomach, and I drew in a deep breath, but it did little to quell the sensation.

“Why was he in New Jersey?” Bailey asked softly. “For work?”