“Chloe.” Annie stops writing and puts a hand on my arm. “I love these pies.”

“You do?”

“Yes.” She resumes writing. “If it were legally possible, I would marry these pies.”

“You’re marrying Drew.”

“These pies would be my sister wives,” she says, then flips to another tab. “On to . . . bridal party. You have your dress, so we’re all good there . . .”

I give her a thumbs-up. Annie went through a moment of wanting me to wear the gold dress Kate Hudson wore in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and I had to remind her that there aren’t enough Spanx in the world to make me feel comfortable in a clingy number like that. Also no one would even pay attention to Annie in her dress because my boobs would be fully out.

She finally decided I should pick out my own dress, since I’m the only bridesmaid, which was both fun and stressful. I found a long, sparkling blush pink dress with fluttery elbow-length sleeves that (a) is perfect for a spring wedding and (b) makes me feel like a romantic mermaid. Annie approved it, and I can’t wait to wear it.

“Okay, so on to . . .” She flips to the next tab, but I interrupt her.

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait. What about your bachelorette party?”

She wrinkles her nose.

“What are we going to do? Do you want to Magic Mike it up? Admittedly, I know less than nothing about the world of the male revue, but I’ll ask around. Or a bar crawl where I make you wear a tiara covered in penises?”

“Covered in penises?” Annie asks, horrified.

“Not real ones,” I clarify. “Or do you want to go full-on The Hangover and fly to Vegas and totally ruin your life? Because I don’t think we have the funds for that, but maybe we could do a Columbus version. The zoo definitely has at least one tiger.”

“I don’t think the zoo’s going to let us borrow a tiger.”

“You know what I always say. Don’t ask, don’t get.”

“Hey.” Annie closes her binder. “I really, really appreciate you being so enthusiastic about this, but I’m not sure I have time for a bachelorette party.”

I throw my hands in the air. “What do you mean? You only get married once, probably! You’ve gotta do it up.”

“I mean . . . the premiere’s this Saturday. And even when I’m not focusing on that, I have so much to do for the wedding. Oh, yeah, and I’m growing a human life inside me.” She sighs heavily. “This is probably the busiest time of my entire life.”

“All the more reason to let your yayas out in the form of a regrettable wedding tradition.”

Annie laughs a little. “Also, um, who else am I going to invite to this bachelorette party? It’s just going to be you and me. That’s not exactly a party.”

I sit back. “Um, ouch.”