‘How’s that for the meet-cute of the millennium?’ he asked.

‘That depends, I guess.’

‘On what?’

‘On me knowing what a “meet-cute” is.’

‘Oh, right. A meet-cute is that scene in all the romcoms when the boy and girl meet each other for the first time. Think Hugh Grant spilling OJ on Julia Roberts in Notting Hill. Or like Hazel and Gus at a cancer support meeting in The Fault in Our Stars.’

‘Or that one where a boy sneaks into an apartment without ringing the bell and gawks at the girl for god alone knows how long until she nearly has a major coronary incident.’

‘Listen, I would have gawked a whole lot longer but these damned fish kept getting in my way. Why was the door open?’

‘So that Munshi can go in and out as he pleases. My brother’s cat.’

‘Axe murderers can go in and out as they please too, y’know.’

‘I guess. Are you one though? An axe murderer?’

‘Well, no. Not yet anyway. But I’m still young. Who knows, couple more years surrounded by all the idiots and fakes on this shitty rock and I might just—’

‘Eram! Wassup, dude.’ Varun charged into the hall. You could get tired just looking at him. He was one of these guys who never sauntered or strolled anywhere. Even his words jostled each other out of the way. ‘You meet my sister Gehna? No? That’s her in the corner pretending to be good. She’s usually not this quiet, more’s the pity. Gehna!’ Varun snapped his fingers before the girl’s nose. ‘This is Eram. He’s a teenager as well. I dunno what I’m doing, hanging out with a bunch of babies. Say something interesting.’

Gehna shot death rays at her brother before giving Eram that crooked smile again.

‘Hi,’ she said. ‘Pleased to meet you.’ She stuck out a hand and Eram took it, briefly. It wasn’t quite the meet-cute of the millennium. No sweet dreams would be made of this.

And yet, Eram thought.

Varun rubbernecked at them like he was at a tennis match. ‘What is this, a tea party? Are you guys going to discuss your favourite books now? I made the most darling little cucumber sandwiches for just such an occasion, shall I have Jeeves bring them in? Fuck me.’

He punched Eram on the shoulder. ‘C’mon boy, you’re getting crushed tonight.’

‘What’s happening tonight?’ Gehna asked.

‘I’m getting crushed apparently,’ Eram informed her.

He pulled out a chess set from his pocket, one of those portable, metallic jobs where the pieces all carry a sliver of magnet to keep them from sliding off during train journeys and such. Varun laughed, a high-pitched guffaw that set Eram’s teeth on edge. ‘Not on that peewee set, you’re not. Size is everything, dude. We’ll use mine.’ He pointed to the coffee table in the hall, on which his cut-crystal chessboard was displayed.

Eram put his set away. ‘Sure. My grandfather gave me this set. I carry it around just to remind me of him, y’know?’ He shrugged. ‘But you’re right. Size is everything. Is that real crystal?’ he walked directly over to examine Varun’s chessboard. Gehna felt heat rise to her cheeks. She scowled at Varun, miming for him to go over and make things right. Giving his nose a vigorous rub, Varun, incredibly, did as he was asked.