It was all too horribly gross, and she was sure Eram hadn’t signed up for gross.

‘I have a question. Why do you even like me?’ she asked him. Argh. I’ve become one of those people who are always, like, ‘Why do you like me, why do you like me?’ Why don’t you like yourself, Gehna Rai? That’s the real question.

‘Because you’re a beautiful person,’ he said.

Gehna snorted. ‘I’m not convinced.’

‘And you have the most perfect breasts.’

It was true. One of the perks of this pregnancy gig was that her breasts were fuller. Having been petite her whole life, Gehna was inordinately happy with her suddenly bigger boobs.

‘That, mister, is the right answer. Or at least a truer one. Mwah.’

Later, she found the Yam smoking a post-coital cigarette out on the fire escape.

‘You should offer one to that glass wall you were humping,’ she said. ‘It’s only polite.’

The Yam blew the smoke away from Gehna. ‘Funny. How was your video sex chat?’

‘I don’t get it,’ Gehna sighed. ‘Why would an eighteen-year-old guy who could be with anyone in the whole wide world choose to be with someone who’s carrying a baby? It’s not his baby, so he’s not even obligated to stick around or anything. And he’s not just a friend. Or he’s not only a friend. He says he loves me. I mean, what the fuck.’

‘Maybe,’ the Yam said, ‘he’s one of those sickos who’s into pregnant women? Like a, whaddyacallit, a fetish. Mommy milk and big bellies. It’s definitely a thing.’

Or maybe, thought Gehna, he just really likes me, baby or no baby. Stranger things have been known to happen.

18

The day of her baby shower, Gehna woke up with a feeling of doom in her heart. She had trained herself to pay attention to such things. Sometimes, when it happened, the feeling turned out to be indigestion, but sometimes, like that day, it was proper doom.

She had no idea what caused the feeling, only that it seemed to coincide frequently with her planned prenatal visits to the ob-gyn. Nina Rai had wanted her to go in twice a week throughout the final trimester, but Gehna had haggled her down to once every ten days. Being at the clinic, with its bright lights and steel instruments and white-coated minions, made her feel vulnerable. It was a good thing that Eram was there with her for every single appointment. Varun, who had been her regular companion on these visits until then, barely spoke to her at the clinic and seemed more interested in the pretty receptionist than in being a comfort to Gehna. When she brought it up with him, he was only too tickled by the idea of handing over his duties to Eram.

‘Damn right. The daddy should bring you. Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.’

‘Did you forget your meds or something? Eram’s not the, uh, the dad and you know it.’