Standing at the window looking out, I also felt a lot less certain I’d done the right thing. I’d planned my getaway, yes, but I hadn’t really thought about it in a bigger sense. In fact, I dimly remembered deciding not to think about it.

Where exactly was I going to go? If I just kept moving, I’d run out of money pretty fast. I needed to settle some place and get work. But how could I do that without getting found? I didn’t know the first thing about getting a job without ID, or about getting fake identification, for that matter.

Did I even have enough to rent a place somewhere while I looked for work? I emptied my wallet and the envelope of cash I’d gotten at the bank. It came to $1,264, plus change. That wasn’t much when you factored in a security deposit. Could I get a place here in — I looked at the phone book — Sway Creek for that? And wouldn’t any landlord want my social security number?

I drummed my fingers on the bedside table. No solutions presented themselves.

What about Ben? I hadn’t told him I was leaving, much less where I was going or how to get in touch with me. Ben and his girls were all the family I had. Was I prepared to never see them again?

I’d called him Monday night right after I called the police. He’d come and met me at the hospital, where they’d taken me to make sure I didn’t have a concussion. Ben wasn’t the most emotive guy, but that night he looked pretty scared. I’d always known how much I needed my brother. It was a big part of why I resented Justine — she kept him from me. But the reverse hadn’t really occurred to me: maybe he needed me, too.

I sat still, holding my breath as an awful new thought crawled to the surface.

If I’m not there to hurt, will John Williams hurt Ben instead? Or the kids?

Horror settled over me. It was the feeling of having screwed up. Big.

I have to go back.

No. No, I couldn’t. Williams had given me a direct order not to leave town. He’d also ordered me not to tell anyone about him. If he found me, he’d kill me. Twice.

I needed to call Ben and make sure he was okay. I’d tell him to take the family on a little trip. I could do it from a pay phone, then drive in a random direction for the whole day. It was chancy because it might let Williams track me, but it was the best I could do.

“Beth? Oh my god, where are you?”

Ben sounded panicked.