‘A baby’s the best news in the world,’ Clare said, as they strolled arm and arm up a farm track, Benjy exploring the grass verges. ‘And it’s not like you’ve not done it before. You’ll know what to expect this time.’

‘I dunno,’ Jude said. ‘It’s just, with James…’

‘What about him?’ Clare said. ‘James is more capable than you think. There’s an intelligent little boy in there, just waiting to be brought out.’

‘But that’s just it,’ Jude said. ‘What if that intelligent boy doesn’t come out? James might never be able to live independently.’ She stopped and turned to admire the view across the Eden Estuary. Then she said, ‘What if this baby’s autistic, too?’

‘Surely not,’ Clare said, trying to think of something comforting to say. ‘Surely the odds of having another baby with James’s condition aren’t high?’

Jude shook her head. ‘Depends who you ask. No one knows, really.’ She turned back to face Clare. ‘But it is a risk.’ She shook her head. ‘Clare, I love James more than life itself. I’d do anything for him. But I’m not sure I could cope if another baby was autistic.’

‘Jude, you cope brilliantly.’

Her sister laughed, a harsh laugh. ‘You’ve not seen me, Clare. I don’t have two minutes to myself. James won’t leave my side. I can’t send him to nursery, to a childminder. I can’t even leave him with mum and dad.’

‘He stayed with me that one time,’ Clare said, remembering a time when James had spent a weekend with Clare – one she wasn’t likely to forget when the case she’d been working on had come to a terrifying conclusion.

‘Yes,’ Jude said, her face softening. ‘He loves you. But you have your own life, you have Al, your job – that’s not a solution.’

‘I know,’ Clare admitted. ‘But if he’s able to come to stay with me, surely you could work on him getting used to other folk?’

Jude began walking again. ‘Oh, I don’t know. It all seems so difficult just now.’

Clare opened her mouth to say something but her sister went on.

‘And what if this baby isn’t autistic?’

‘That would be good, wouldn’t it?’ Clare said.

Jude shook her head. ‘We’d be condemning the baby to a lifetime of responsibility for James. And that’s not fair.’

Clare put her hands on her sister’s shoulder. ‘Jude, stop. You’re getting way ahead of yourself here. You don’t even know if you are pregnant yet. And, even if you are, you’ll work it out. Mum and Dad don’t live too far away. And it might actually help James, having a little brother or sister.’

She nodded. ‘I know,’ she said, her voice a whisper. ‘It just all seems a bit overwhelming at the moment.’

‘Baby hormones,’ Clare said.