My body began to tremble at the possibility of my family playing a role in his suffering. What horrors had he seen in the past seven years? Silent tears slipped from the corners of my eyes. I thought no excuse would be enough, but I was wrong. My heart broke once before because of Nico. Now, it broke all over again for him.

“Don’t look at me with your pity,” he snapped. “That was years ago, and I’m not that same kid anymore.”

“I can see that, but it doesn’t make it any better.”

He unfolded from his chair and reached out to take my hand, bringing me to my feet. “The reason I told you all that was not so you’d feel sorry for me, but so that you’d understand—so you’d give me a chance. You were supposed to be mine. You’ve always been mine. I pushed you away for a reason, and it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Killing that man was hard, but the pain was over and forgotten in no time. The hurt I caused you burned so deep, the pain has never stopped. But it was the only way I could think of to keep you safe—to keep the ugliness of my life from touching you.”

How many times had I dreamed of hearing those words come from him? Wished he would reappear and tell me it had all been a mistake. Nico had been my everything—the only future I ever envisioned. Even after he left, I couldn’t seem to picture myself with anyone else, which was why I’d never dated. I had been adrift, clinging to a buoy, but it was land that I needed. Nico was the solid ground that kept my life from falling into chaos. Just having him near me, even though a current of secrets still existed between us, made me feel more at peace.

His hand came up to cup my cheek, his thumb tracing my cheekbone. “Say something, Ladybug. Tell me you’ll give me another chance.”

“I have some questions,” I said hesitantly. “If you knew who my father was, and you knew my life was already tainted by him, why did you do it? Why try to protect me from something I was already entrenched in?” It was one of the pieces to his puzzle that wasn’t clicking into place.

“I only happened to learn your dad was involved on accident, and I didn’t know until later that he was the boss. What I knew right away—or thought I knew—was that you had no idea. I believed that you never would have kept something so huge from me, which meant you didn’t know.” His eyes hardened as he spoke, clearly still upset at learning the truth. “Your father had tried to give you the option of a crime-free life, so who was I to drag you back in? Even if I did stay with you, was I supposed to lie to your face every day about what I did and who I was? I was trying to do what was best for you. I was trying to put your future before my happiness. I couldn’t think of anything more selfish than keeping you for myself despite the dark turn my life had taken.”