Desire and apprehension battled for supremacy, and her throat tightened. “That was before. Before I told you about my—about what I did. I know I disgust you now.”

“You what?” Gabriel turned, stunned. “Are you insane?”

“No.” She wrapped her arms around herself, then dropped them to her sides. Refusing to take the coward’s way and give in to the tears threatening to flood, she stared at him. “I told you what I did, and you turned away. You haven’t been able to look at me since.”

“I haven’t looked at you because I can’t stand it.”

“You mean, you can’t stand me. I took a life and lied about it. I know what you think of liars.” Her voice broke, but her eyes remained dry. “What you think of me.”

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“Idiot.” Fresh, raw, the helplessness consumed him. Forgetting his vow, he came to her then, cupped her chin, his thumb drifting over the beloved dimple. “I ache for you. I hate knowing how you had to live. How alone you were. It slices at me, thinking about what you had to endure. What you had to do.”

Forcing the whisper past a throat ravaged by unshed tears, she managed, “You walked away.”

“It infuriated me, how useless I felt. How helpless I feel. You fought for your life, and no one helped. Now I’m helping you put your life in jeopardy for a headline.” Gabriel stared at her. “I’m no better than Rhodes.”

Shocked, Erin laid her hand on his where it rested on the shelf beside her. How could she have been so blind? How could he be so stupid? “You’re nothing like him. He was a bully. A selfish, insecure man who had no compassion in him.”

Gabriel retorted, “And I’m a desperate reporter willing to put your life at risk to save my paper.”

She heard the remorse and wondered how she’d missed the misery in his eyes. He had no idea what he’d given her in their time together. More than passion, more than affection, with him she’d discovered a measure of peace that had eluded her for a lifetime. Binding her to him. She hadn’t told him, not trusting the feeling. She hadn’t admitted it to herself, not believing it could be so easy. “You’re doing what I asked you to do. What I need you to do.”

“I should have said no. I shouldn’t have pushed you so hard.”

“Gabriel, you didn’t force me into this. I volunteered.”

“I didn’t give you an option.”