And then what? I think. She invites you in and you have a chat and maybe a glass of wine and see what happens? I shake my head, dismissing the thoughts. Suzie’s libido strikes again. Focus, girl.

The second message is more cryptic: BCS13. Is BCS a set of initials? A place? Maybe it’s a five-digit password? If so, to what? The 13 could refer to Sureños 13, and if that’s true then the S would probably be for Sureños. So what is BC? Peaches said the leader of the Sureños cell was called Bala, which is Spanish for bullet. Could that be B? And what’s the C stand for, then? What starts with the letter C? Cryptic, for one—probably not it. Cola, castanets, computer, cell, cephalopod, ceiling, condition, cocaine, cap, capsule, capitulate, carbon, carburetor, car …

“Jesus,” I say aloud.

“Suze?” Ethan says.

The balding man across from me stops talking to his mother and looks at me, startled. Even the old woman lifts her gaze to me.

“Sorry,” I say to the old woman. To Ethan, I say in a lowered voice, “I have to go.”

“What?”

“I have to go. Uncle Gavin gave me something to do and I just figured it out.”

Ethan raises his hands and drops them in disgust. “So you’re just going to bail. Again.”

“I’m not—”

“Our uncle’s in surgery, Susannah,” he says, his voice low but threatening to grow louder. “Open-heart surgery. So whatever Uncle Gavin told you to do can wait.”

I shake my head. “Listen, I have to find Tane. I lost him and I promised Uncle Gavin—”

“Tane isn’t a puppy,” Ethan says, louder. “He left. He’s not your problem.”

I so want to fight, to expend all of my anxiety and anger in another argument with my brother. I’m primed for it, have my lines all ready to go. And I can tell from Ethan’s body language and tone that he’s ready to throw down, too, and the hell with whoever overhears us.

Then I remember the guy from the train, how part of me was ready to shoot a stranger in the head because he was bitching at his wife. My heart sinks, a hollow stone. I’ve always had a dark, violent streak. But when did I become a walking time bomb, ready to explode at a moment’s notice, and to hell with the consequences?

I stand. “Ethan, I’m sorry. I’m not going to fight with you. And I’ll be back as soon as I can. But I think I know what Uncle Gavin wants me to do.”

Ethan stays seated, looking up at me in disbelief. “Since when have you ever done what he wants you to do?”

“It’s the last thing he asked of me before he got wheeled off to surgery. And I’m trying to clean up my mess.”