“There’s nothing to do now,” she said, “but go on. We have to go on, Patricia. You have to go on for Max.”

“Where is Max?” she asked. “He should come and talk to Rhoda.”

“He’s out by the root cellar,” she answered. “He was out there with Drew and Arthur. He told them to leave. He said he wanted to be alone.”

“Go out and talk to him,” Patricia said to me. “He wants to talk to you, Rhoda. He’s worried about you. He talked about you last night. He doesn’t blame you. No one blames you.”

“They should blame me. It’s my fault. It was my car. I was driving the car. I was driving it too fast.” It was the second time that day I had said it. I looked straight at my mother as I said it. I couldn’t believe I had said it again. It was wonderful to say it. I wanted to say it over and over again. Light poured in the windows as I said it. Light was everywhere. “I was driving sixty-five miles an hour. I was driving like a maniac. I shouldn’t have been driving that fast. I did it to show off.” My voice was rising. I felt the light penetrate me and blow me open. My mother jumped up from the bed and came to me. “No, Rhoda,” she said. “Not now. Don’t do this to Patricia. Come on, let’s go outside and talk to Doctor Morgan.” She tried to lead me from the room, but I didn’t want to go. I wanted to scream my crime. I wanted to tell Patricia what I had done. All of a sudden I could see Clay, in this room, beside his mother, his gentle body folded over hers, his head beside her head, his hand on her arm.

“Come on, Rhoda,” my mother said. “Please, honey, for God’s sake, come with me.” She got me to the door, then I broke away from her and began walking down the long hall that led to the backyard.

“Where are you going?” she asked. “I’m going to go and get your father.”

I turned around. I became very cool and poised. “Please, Mother, I have to go and talk to him. Please don’t follow me. I’m okay now. I swear I am.” I stood very still and she waited, then began to back off.

“All right,” she said. “Go on.”

I walked past the kitchen full of people making drinks and eating food and talking. I walked all the way down the old board hallway and out onto the unused back porch and down the back steps toward the root cellar. Doctor Morgan was standing there, by the closed door to the cellar. Just standing there, staring at the mound of earth and the closed door. Beyond the mound the soft hills of summer rose up in brilliant greens. Clouds were moving in from the north. It would rain again by evening and wash all this away.