And me? What are they gonna see when they look at me? Some folks always thought I was heading to prison. I bet they’d be happy to know they’re right.

I messaged Skye and Bash when I was in the car coming over here. I needed to tell someone what was going on. Then I ran out of battery. Phone’s charged now, but they haven’t answered. Bash’s mum is probably throwing a “Charlene’s Gone” party to celebrate the fact that I’m out of her daughter’s life.

I watch a man walking his dog on the other side of the street. The dog’s tiny. A squirrel’s gonna fight it and win. The dog hasn’t got no lead, so it runs ahead, then waits for him. The man’s on his phone and it’s like the dog just wants him to stop chatting and get the walk done. Suddenly the dog must have had enough and it barks and runs off. The man shoves his phone in his pocket and runs after it.

I rest my head against the window. I don’t know if the curtain’s damp from my sweat or the condensation on the glass. My brain’s still muffled. My thoughts feel like dropped stitches.

Click, click, click.

I try to imagine knitting, but it hurts. All I can see is the ruined T-rex blanket.

My phone buzzes. It’s a message from Skye asking me how I am. I see that Bash isn’t part of the chat no more. I call Skye. We don’t normally talk this way, but I want to hear the voice of someone I know. She’s at a barbecue at her sister’s and there’s people laughing around her. Skye says that if I was nearer, I could come over. Man, Skye, it wouldn’t be that easy for someone like me even if I was nearer. Social services don’t want us hanging out in strangers’ homes.

I tell her about Kandi. It’s the first time I’ve even mentioned I got a sister. It’s even the first time I’ve told her that my mum died. I usually don’t tell anyone that. It’s too much stress dealing with other people’s reactions. You see their faces change and they kind of look embarrassed and then they almost start edging away. But Skye’s good. She’s had all sorts of stuff happen in her family. One of her little cousins even went into foster care for a while until his mum stopped using drugs.

“Look at it this way, Chaz,” Skye says. “You can’t do nothing about what the police decide now, especially as that wasteman Blake’s gonna do his best to make sure you get locked up.”

My stomach hurts. Skye talking about me being locked up makes it feel more real.