She expected him to back off, but he didn’t. “Yeah, I guess that’s it.”

She’d spent her childhood trying to prove herself worthy of other people’s love, and she’d always failed. Now he was asking her to do the same thing. Resentment choked her. She wanted to tell him to go to hell, but something in his expression stopped her. A bone-deep vulnerability from the man who had everything. In that moment she understood what she needed to do. Maybe it would work, or maybe it wouldn’t. Maybe she was about to take heartbreak to a whole new level. “I’m staying here.”

He tilted his head, as if he hadn’t heard her right.

“Team Bailey is staying right here,” she said. “At the farm. Alone.” Her thoughts raced. “You don’t even get to visit. We won’t see each other until”—she searched for some significant point in time—“until Thanksgiving.” If I’m still around. If you still want me. She swallowed hard. “I’ll watch the trees change color, I’ll paint, I’ll definitely torture Nita for what she’s done to me. I might help Syl set up her new gift shop, or—” Her voice broke. “Let’s be honest…I may get panicky and drive away.”

“You’re going to stay at the farm?”

Was she? She managed a jerky nod. She had to do this for them, but mainly she had to do it for herself. She was tired of her aimlessness, scared of the person she might become if she kept on like this—a woman with a life so small it could fit into the trunk of a car. “I’ll try.”

“Try?” His voice sliced through her.

“What do you want from me?” she cried.

The man of steel thrust out his jaw. “I want you to be just as tough as you pretend.”

“You think this won’t be tough?”

His mouth tightened. An ominous foreboding crept through her. “Not tough enough,” he said. “Let’s raise the stakes.” He loomed above her. “Team Robillard won’t visit the farm, but Team Robillard also won’t call you, won’t even send a fricking e-mail. Team Bailey will have to live every day on faith.” He dug them in deeper, daring her to fold. “You won’t know where I am or who I’m with. You won’t know whether I’m missing you, or screwing around on you, or trying to figure out how to break it off.” For a moment, he was silent. When he spoke again, his aggression had faded, and his words brushed across her skin. “It’ll feel like I’m walking away from you, just like everyone else.”

She heard his tenderness, but she was too fragile to accept it. “I have to get back to jail.” She turned away.

“Blue…” He touched her shoulder.