‘Not all the time, it wasn’t, Tony; she’s heard you. Don’t ask me how, but she has. Evil, vindictive cow. You’ve got that boxing charity night for the police, tonight. Oh, my God, you really are one of the boys in blue.’ Jake couldn’t help but laugh. Sharon was right to call Denise the poison dwarf, because this was over the top. But then again, why was Tony ringing other women when one was still in his apartment? God, would he never learn?

‘What am I going to do? For God’s sake, stop laughing and bloody help me. Do something, now.’

‘I’ll get Sharon, she’ll know what to do. Women have calamities all the time when they’re having their hair dyed, there must be some way to sort it out.’

‘Sharon! You’re going to give her the satisfaction of seeing me like this?’ Tony started to stomp around again. He went into the kitchen and put his head under the cold tap to try and rinse more of the ink out. The floor was covered in puddles. It looked like there had been a flood.

Jake rang down to the main bar, where he knew Sharon would be, and asked her to come up.

‘Put a robe on or something, will you? Cover up your bare arse before Sharon comes up. Especially that blue dick of yours, that really is a sight for sore eyes.’ Again, Jake tried to stifle his laughter.

Jake opened the door to Sharon. ‘What’s the emergency? What’s going on?’ She walked into the apartment and noticed the floor was wet. Tony was nowhere to be seen. ‘What’s happened here, has there been a flood?’ Sharon was looking around and then from behind her she heard a noise and turned.

Tony was walking out of his bedroom, with pale blue hair. His skin, no matter how much he had rinsed it, still had a faint blue tinge. Sharon burst out laughing. She couldn’t help herself; it was the funniest thing she had seen in years.

‘If that’s all you’re going to do, you can piss off now.’ Tony was angry and grumpy. He was tying the belt of his robe around him and giving her an evil glare.

‘What happened?’ Sharon looked to Jake for an answer.

He threw his hands up in the air. ‘We think it might have something to do with that Denise. Blue ink has been put into the showerhead. Tony got into the shower after she had gone this morning and, well, see for yourself.’ Jake pointed at Tony.

‘Okay, I get that, it’s an old trick. I’ve heard of worse, but why did she do it?’

‘Because she heard him ringing that model, Ami, and making a date. How do we sort his hair out, Sharon?’ said Jake.

Sharon turned to Tony. ‘Be grateful that’s all it was; at least that will come out and it’s not permanent. You bloody fool, you know she’s a bit nutty. Why would you ring another woman when you have one in your apartment? Couldn’t you wait five more minutes? You know, sometimes I think you deserve everything you get.’