I opened my mouth, trying to find a way to say it. I’d turned the words over in my head again and again, but now they escaped me.

The look in his eye slowly transformed from concern to fear. “Fable.”

“I can’t go back to the Narrows with you,” I said. “Not yet.”

His face turned to stone. “What are you talking about?”

I’d known the moment I made the deal with Holland that it would cost me with West. But I had to believe that it was something I could fix.

“Last night,” I swallowed. “I made a deal with Holland. One you’re not going to like.”

The color drained from his cheeks. “What are you talking about?”

“I…” My voice wavered

“What did you do, Fable?”

“I’m going to find midnight. For Holland.”

“In exchange for what?” The words were clipped.

This was the moment I’d been dreading. That flash of fury in his eyes. The tight clench in his jaw.

I pressed my tongue to my teeth. Once I said it, there was no going back. “Saint.” I unfolded my legs, sliding from the bed, and West took a step back from me. “If I find the midnight for Holland, she’ll leave Saint alone.”

It took a moment for me to place the look on West’s face. It was disbelief. “What the hell were you thinking?”

I didn’t have an answer to that. Not one he could understand. “I have to do this, West.”

“We agreed,” he breathed. “We agreed that we’d cut ties with him.”

“I know.” I swallowed.

He turned to the window, staring out at the sea in the distance.

“It’s in Yuri’s Constellation. I can find it.”

“What if you can’t?”

“I can. I know I can.” I tried to sound sure. “I’ll take one of her crews and—” The words cut off when he turned to look at me.

West’s silent rage filled the room around us. “I’m not leaving Bastian without you.”

“I’m not asking you to stay.” I twisted my fingers into the underdress. “Take the Marigold back to Ceros and I’ll meet you.”

He took the jacket from where it was hung on the back of the chair and slipped his arms into the sleeves. “When you made that deal, you made it for both of us.”

I’d been afraid he would say that. It’s exactly what I would have said if West had done the same thing. But the crew would never agree. He’d be outvoted before he even finished telling them what I’d done. “West, I’m sorry.”

He went still, searching my eyes. “Tell me all of this has nothing to do with what I told you last night.”

“What?”