But to Theodosia this casual acceptance of birth and death was painful and frightening. She wrote to her father about it, and in time had one of his breezy letters full of advice and common sense. 'You must not indulge yourself in morbid fancies,' wrote Aaron. 'Adapt yourself to the customs and temper of mind that you may find in your new environment. It would be wiser to be less critical, more tolerant, though indeed I know my little Theo well enough to be sure that she would never show outward discourtesy of any kind.'

Theo sighed as she read this. It wasn't exactly a question of criticism or intolerance. She was trying to adapt herself, but the ways and outlook of the Alstons were so alien. Nor did they make any effort to understand her.

She went out for a walk by herself one morning after breakfast and tried seriously to think out her problem. To get off alone had brought on a minor crisis. Maria had asked where she was going and why. First Charlotte and then two of the younger children had tried to accompany her and had had to be discouraged.

'At least,' said Maria, 'do not take any of the paths leading to the rice fields, because the field hands would think it most unseemly to see Mrs. Alston wandering around at such an hour. Do not go off the plantation road. Take one of the servants with you, or Venus—the proprieties will thus be better observed.'

Theo gently refused. She wished to go by herself, and she certainly did not want Venus. She saw more than enough of her maid as it was. Joseph had flown into a passion when Theo had suggested getting rid of her. And, in truth, she had been unable to give any good reason. Venus was remarkably deft and efficient and prompt to answer a call: too prompt. Theo was convinced that the girl listened at doors and hid herself in corners, she moved so swiftly and quietly.

Theo longed for Minerva and the happy days of wild free rides across Manhattan Island. She might have ridden here; there was a large stable of horses—but not alone! Oh, never! A decorous trot, accompanied by one of the grooms, was all that was permissible, and that was considered eccentric for a married woman.

'Order a carriage if you wish to go somewhere,' said Joseph carelessly.