"It's awful that they have to go through that," said Charlene. "I can't even imagine how I'd handle the not knowing part."

"So I've been walking the streets of Hornbeam Ridge at night, wearing a wig with long brown hair, trying to catch the guy who did it."

They each ordered another milkshake.

"Explain to me exactly what you're doing," said Charlene. "Because, no judgment, but you were right when you said I'd think you were insane."

"I'm well aware that it's not one hundred percent sane," said Gertie.

"So explain."

"I have a stun gun and also a real gun. Every couple of nights I've been driving out to Hornbeam Ridge, putting on the wig, and walking around town for hours, hoping he'll come after me. If he does, he'll get a nasty surprise."

"Let me get this straight," said Charlene. "You walk around after dark, wearing a...you know what, I don't need to summarize what you said. You know how it sounds."

"I have a permit for the gun."

"That wasn't my first question."

"And I'm fast on the draw with the stun gun. If he came after me, I know I could defend myself. He'd be lying on the sidewalk in a puddle of his own piss, and the cops would force him to take them to the missing women."

"What if he had a gun, too? What would you do if he just pointed a gun at you and said, 'Get in the trunk of my car, bitch,'?"

"I've been following the stories. You can't kidnap eight different people—at least—by just pointing guns at them and giving instructions. He had to lure them somehow."

"Or jump out at them from the shadows."

"I'm careful."

"Oh, yeah, you sound like The Amazing Ms. Caution. During the day, she gives safety lessons to young schoolchildren. At night, she's fucked in the head."

"It's not a foolproof plan. But I'm not going to just hang out at home and wait for the cops to catch this guy. Not when I could be doing my part."

"How do you know it's a guy?"

"I don't. But when eight women with long dark hair are abducted, I tend to assume that the kidnapper is a dude."

"Makes sense."

"And it doesn't matter. I'll zap a chick, too."

The bartender set their milkshakes on the counter in front of them.

"I'll be honest," said Charlene. "I thought that me referencing pussy eating would be the most uncomfortable part of our talk."

"So you see how I'm impulsive."

"Um, no. You arm yourself and walk around a designated area with a specific goal in mind. It's kind of the opposite of impulsive. Dangerous, yes. Whack-a-doodle crazy, you betcha. Suicidal? Close. But not impulsive."

"It's not a designated area. I just go around where other victims were last seen."