"She's been in here before. She's a nightmare. That doesn't mean you get to dump food on her. What if you'd injured her?"

"With lasagna?"

"What if she was allergic to tomatoes?"

"I didn't get any on her bare skin."

"But you could have. You didn't spill it on her knowing the exact trajectory the sauce would take. You spill lasagna on somebody with a tomato allergy and we've got serious legal problems."

"That did not occur to me."

"You're acting like this is a tongue-in-cheek conversation but I'm serious about the risk."

"I usually can't identify the tone of our conversations."

"This one is Angry Boss to Irresponsible Employee, but with affection."

"Noted. It'll never happen again. I was just mad because she made the new girl cry."

"I assigned Gertie her table on purpose. If you can survive that hag, you can handle any other customer. It was a test."

"She would've passed. She just needed a minute to compose herself. Gertie didn't give me permission to dump the lasagna on her. She tried to stop me, but only with words, so it didn't work."

"You don't need to protect her. She's not getting fired, either. Pull another stunt like that, no matter how funny and satisfying, and this will be a very different conversation. Understand?"

"Yes, sir."

"Get back to work."

The restaurant was now in the dinner rush, so Charlene and Gertie didn't get the chance to talk. She did give Gertie a thumbs-up to show that she was still employed, although Gertie could've figured that out from the context clue that Charlene was carrying a full tray into the dining area.

They were both scheduled to work until close. Charlene had a table that was in no hurry to leave, but they were a pleasant couple and it was fine. Around 10:30, she left the dining area, looking forward to soaking her aching body in a bubble bath. Gertie, whose last table had departed twenty minutes ago, was waiting for her.

"So how was your first day?" Charlene asked.

"Third day. It was very interesting."

"This job sucks, right?"

"Nah," said Gertie. "I only cried once. If I can get through an entire shift without stress-vomiting, it's a good job."

"What kind of jobs did you have before this?"

"Customer service."

"Ah. Gotcha."

"Anyway, I wanted to thank you for what you did. You didn't have to do that. You probably shouldn't have done that. You definitely shouldn't have done that. But I wanted to thank you the best way I know how."

"Which is?" Charlene asked.

"Alcoholic milkshakes."

"Oh, hell yeah."

"There's a place three blocks away if you're not too tired."

"I was too tired until you said alcoholic milkshakes. Then suddenly my body was filled with a renewed energy, like I could accomplish anything, as long as it involved drinking alcoholic milkshakes."

"Let's go."

* * *