I nod because obedience is expected, and I do not want him to walk out with my laptop as well. But there’s something niggling at the back of my mind, something I’ve been too afraid to ask in case it’s true.

“Dad?” I start, my voice all quivery like I could burst into tears at any moment. “Do you think the reason I don’t have magic… Do you think it’s because—could it be because I’m not really a girl or a boy?” I struggle to get the words out.

“Oh Taika, no.” Dad pulls me into a hug. “Absolutely not. Magic has never cared about that. There have been trans and gender-nonconforming mages throughout history.”

I’m stunned. My mouth is literally hanging open as I stare at my dad.

“You think because I’m old I don’t know what these words mean?” He tousles my hair. “No, Taika. You being you has nothing to do with the vagaries of inherited magic, I promise you that.”

I’m not sure if I feel better or worse now. At least if it was because of me being they instead of she, I’d have a reason. The reason would suck big-time but at least I’d know the why.

“Don’t worry about it, kulta. We’ll figure this all out.” Dad places a hand on my back and rubs circles that are anything but comforting. “But given all that’s happened, perhaps it’s best we don’t let your mom see these.” Dad reaches under the bed and pulls out four of the five contraband books.

“Dad—”

“We appreciate your concern. But your mom and others are working nonstop to figure this all out,” he says. “We don’t want to have to worry about you too. Do you understand?”

“I understand,” I bite out through gritted teeth.

“Good. Now do your homework and read something more appropriate.” He waves at my bookshelf chockablock with novels about brave teenagers defying their parents to save the world. He leaves, taking all my research material with him.

I wait for the sound of Dad’s steps to retreat down the stairs before I tiptoe into the hallway. He and Toivo are in the kitchen, and judging by the sound of slamming crockery, they’re clearly having a lovely chat.

With Mom out doing who knows what, now’s my chance to find out what Toivo is hiding. My pulse thunders in my ears as I hurry into his bedroom. He hasn’t bothered to lock the door this time and I leave it slightly ajar behind me so I can hear him coming.