GABRIELLE

I knew it was coming. I’d been asking Ivan a lot of personal questions, so it was only fair for him to be curious about me. I decided to go with the easy stuff first.

“Well, I grew up in Santa Barbara with my mom, who was American, but I was born in London and have a UK passport. My dad is a British citizen. He’s the Chief Superintendent for the Southwark Division at New Scotland Yard. My younger sister, Danielle, and I visited him in London during our school holidays and summers over the years. He met my mother when she was like nineteen years old. My grandparents were diplomats who moved the family to London when my mom was a teenager. My mom and dad fell in love, or more accurately, she fell pregnant with me. My grandparents were not happy about their marriage and they interfered… more than they should have. My mother left England after two years, returning to California pregnant with my sister. My grandparents were killed in a car accident a few years later. Mom married my stepfather and had my brother Blake. My sister recently graduated from university and now studies fine art and design in Los Angeles. My brother goes to UC Santa Barbara, the same school where I did my undergrad, and lives at home with his dad, my stepfather. I came to London to study art and learn conservation. My mom died suddenly three years ago, and I’ll never live in the US again.”

I took a deep breath as I finished my oration and kept up my game face. It was better this way. Profoundly ashamed of the real reason I’d left home, wasn’t something I was willing to share, especially when I could barely deal with my guilt now, years later. I was, for lack of a better term, deeply fucked up over what I’d done.

He nodded slowly after listening to my rambling speech, giving me his full attention. I was certain he’d absorbed every detail. I’d already experienced Ivan as a thoughtful listener, much to my surprise. Again, he went against the norm—at least for me he did.

“I’m very sorry about your mum. I lost mine suddenly, too.” He paused before delivering the worst part of the news. “When I was six.” He shrugged helplessly. “Pissing drunk driver took to the road and hit them head-on. They never stood a chance.”

“They? Your father too?” I asked, thinking six was a horrifying age to be orphaned. No wonder he was a little rough around the edges. Any guy would be affected without a mother’s love and gentling influence from such a young age. I thought of Ethan and saw some of the same hardness he had also in Ivan. Brynne had told me that Ethan lost his mom when he was like four years old in a car accident. Ethan and Ivan were cousins… While my heart was hurting for the little six-year-old Ivan, imagining how hard it must have been for him growing up with no mother, it dawned on me to wonder if he and Ethan had shared the same tragedy.