And for just a moment as I stood, facing Jasper—staring at her red hair blazing in the sun with the strange cottage behind her, all covered in vines—she seemed to shimmer, like she would disappear if I didn’t keep looking at her. That was silly, of course, but I couldn’t help thinking it. For a moment it seemed possible. As if all the childish fantasies I’d ever made up in my life, all the hunger I’d felt for something I couldn’t explain, came welling up inside me.

“This is your house?” I said.

My mind was reeling, struggling to catch up with the moment, just as my body had struggled to catch up with Jasper’s long strides.

“No,” said Jasper. “This isn’t my house. I . . . don’t have a house, at the moment. This is just where I sleep. Temporarily. Do you see now?”

“But . . .”

“I told you it was complicated,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s super complicated.”

“But your mom? She lets you just . . .”

Jasper laughed a sad laugh. “Ha, yeah. My mom is complicated too.”

I didn’t say anything after that. I looked at the little house, and then at Jasper, and then down at the bag of groceries over my shoulder. Trying to take it all in, to understand.

“See? You didn’t want to know,” she said.

But she was wrong about that. She was absolutely wrong about that. And so I shook my head. “Of course I wanted to know,” I said. “I’m your friend.”

“Really?” Jasper glanced up, met my eyes with hers. She looked shy, maybe for the first time since I’d met her. “It’s not . . . too much?”

“It’s not,” I said. “It’s a lot. But not too much. It’s just confusing. Maybe if you could tell me why you—”

But Jasper shook her head then, hard and quick. “Please, no. I can’t. I really can’t.”

“Well, okay,” I said. “That’s fine. You can tell me or not tell me. Whatever you need to do. But either way, maybe I can help, somehow. . . .”

“You know I don’t like help,” Jasper said. But she was smiling, just the faintest smile.

“I know it,” I said. “But I guess that’s just too bad for you. Because it turns out I like helping. So there.”

“Well,” she said with a shrug, “in that case, I guess you might as well come in.” She headed for the tall grass on the right side of the house, lifting her knees high, stomping her way to the back door of the house. I followed, stomping behind her.