Jasper shook her head. “I haven’t gotten that far yet. This all happened a few days before I met you. I guess I’ve been trying not to think too much. It makes my head hurt.”

“It makes my heart hurt,” I said.

“That too,” said Jasper.

“Maybe something will just happen? Maybe something will change.”

“What could change?”

“I don’t know, exactly. Like maybe your mom will quit drinking.”

Jasper snorted. “Not likely. I spent years wishing for that, back when I was little enough to believe in wishes and magic.”

“Well then, maybe your sister’s terrible husband will get hit by a car or something. Maybe he’ll just . . . die. That happens—”

My words caught in my throat, and Jasper winced at them. “You know, I have wished for that too. Of course I have. But it doesn’t work. And it’s like a kind of poison, to wish for something like that. It makes me feel bad, like I’m bad. Maybe I am, for thinking it. But even if that’s not true, waiting around, hoping something will just change suddenly and fix all your problems . . . that’s dumb. That’s like being five years old and believing in fairies. Or miracles. It’s better to be realistic. It’s better to accept the facts and the rules, and just keep going. That’s what grown-ups do.”

“I guess so,” I said. “Sometimes I wish for Sam to not be gone anymore. But I know some things just aren’t possible.”

“Right,” said Jasper. “Exactly.”

“But then, don’t you think you should tell someone? A safe person, who might be able to find you somewhere better to stay? I mean . . . you could talk to my parents. Really. They’re not the greatest, but my mom might—”

“No!” said Jasper. “No telling your parents.”

“O-okay,” I said, nodding. Jasper spit out that word, parents, like it tasted bad. But, lame as they were, my parents were still the people I’d call if I was sick or in trouble, I thought. Parents were safe.

“Then how about someone else?” I offered. “Maybe someone like Dawn, a cool nice grown-up? Maybe you could work at Joe’s—”

“No!” shouted Jasper so forcefully I blinked. “You tell Dawn and Dawn tells the police, and that is how my sister and my mom both end up arrested. No parents and nobody else either. No way. You have to swear you won’t say a word. I’m not kidding, Leah.”

“Okay, okay!” I said. “It’s just that now I’m . . . worried. You can’t do this alone. Not forever.”

Jasper shrugged. “I don’t seem to have any options. Do I?”