Hugh’s face suddenly contorted into one of sheer torment, and he took a step towards her. “Do not dare to presume that I exiled myself only to sink further into the life of misery I had gotten myself into,” he hissed, his words sounding as though they rasped painfully against his throat. “You have no idea what I have suffered. What I have endured. No matter how you hate me, Elinor Asheley, it cannot compare to how I have hated myself of late.”

She had not expected that outburst, not in the slightest. She had hoped he had felt some remorse for what had happened to Alice, but this was beyond anything.

She stared at him in shock, gaping. Then she swallowed. “Hate is a strong word,” she reminded him.

“The emotions behind it are stronger,” he insisted, seeming to recover some part of himself and turning away. He moved to the window, his face taking on new shadows and angles in the moonlight, and none of them softening him. “I am not the man I was, though I know full well that it may never be believed as possible. That is my burden to bear.” He lowered his head, then glanced towards her. “I pray you find some way to avoid making it a heavier one than it already is.”

Elinor tilted her head, unwittingly curious. “Are you asking for my forgiveness?”

Hugh turned towards her again but did not approach. “I do not expect you to forgive the man I was,” he told her, his voice dark and low. “I only ask that you see me for the man that I am now.”

Elinor frowned at his answer, not in displeasure, but in confusion.

It was a bit of an odd request, but not an unreasonable one. In fact, it might have been the simplest request she had ever heard. Was that not what they all wanted in life? To be seen for who they were without prejudice or judgment?

Would she not want to be seen that way?

She pursed her lips, a question forming and dying at the same moment. What could she ask? How could she respond?

How could anyone?

Hugh watched her for a moment, then exhaled faintly, straightening. “I know you might not believe this, Elinor, but I mean you no harm. I mean your family no harm. I mean to redeem myself in the eyes of the world, and if I have to start with yours, so be it. Consider what I’ve asked, if you will. See if you can manage that much kindness for a man like me.”

He bowed surprisingly deeply, then moved to the drawing room without another word.

Elinor watched him go, utterly bewildered now.

An emotion was welling, surging within her, and it turned her cheeks hot and made her eyes burn. She felt almost twitchy, her fingers tightening against each other in strained convulsions.

Shame. It was shame that burned down her neck and along her ears. It was shame that made her stomach clench and her knees tremble. Shame that brought tears to her eyes and shook her lungs on each breath.