I turned around and walked downstairs again without even bothering to check on John’s and my new sanctuary-to-be. The magic was gone. It was a really stupid idea to move in here. None of this would have happened if John and I had just bought another house. Any other house.

I put the casserole in the fridge. I filled dishes for the cats, grabbed a treat for Horatio.

John was asleep. Or pretending to be. At the rate we were going, if the cats and I moved out, he probably wouldn’t even notice.

I slithered out of my clothes, pulled on my sleeping T-shirt, slid under the covers of the mattress on the floor.

“’Twas the night before tomorrow,” I whispered, “and all through the house, more than one person, is acting like a louse.”

I tossed and turned all night. I pulled the covers off John. He yanked them back. I dreamed about diapers—cloth diapers, disposable diapers, pull-ups, easy ups, diapers made out of clouds and marshmallows. I dreamed about boxes and boxes of diapers under the Christmas tree. I dreamed that we finally found Hamburger, our long-lost hamster, and she needed her diaper changed, too. I pulled the covers off John again. He yanked them back.

Somehow I made it through the night, only to wake up to have to face another day.

John rolled over beside me, swung his legs over the side of the mattress, pushed himself up to a standing position.

There were a million things I could have said to him. Good morning. I love you. You’ll never guess what happened. We need to talk.

But I didn’t say a word. And neither did he.

By the time I got out of the shower, he was off taking Horatio for a walk.

By the time they got back from wherever they’d gone, I’d already left for school.

I wondered, just for a moment, if this was how it had started with Johnny and Kim. And then I wondered if that’s how it had started with John and his ex-wife. With Kevin and me.

“I get eight presents for Hanukkah,” Pandora said at circle time. “And my Barbie gets eight presents for Hanukkah, too.”

“The three wise men,” Josiah said, “brought coconut oil and guacamole and a sheep for the table.”

“Angel Gabriel,” Jaden said, “used to be the tooth fairy. He’s happier now.”

“My nana,” Ember said, “says it takes all kinds of kinds.”

“My daddy,” Celine said, “says the commute is a bear.”

“What kind of bear?” Morgan said.

“An orange teddy bear,” Juliette said.

“Do you know what I want for Christmas?” Depp said. “Everything, baby.”

Polly rested her hand on her baby bump, caught my eye, smiled.

I looked away.

We got the kids settled in with their individual work. Griffin staggered over to the reading boat. He pulled a book off the shelf, held it high over his head.