We all sat there in the parking lot, the minivan’s heat blasting, stars twinkling in the sky over us. On the other side of the parking lot, a trio of gulls were dive-bombing a dumpster under the soft glow of a streetlight, flapping their wings like they were copying us. The moon was almost full. Either that or it had just been full and I’d completely missed it.

“You want to hear loser?” I said. “I just realized that I might have married Kevin because I didn’t think anybody else would ever ask me.”

The minivan was quiet for so long that I started to wonder whether I’d actually said it out loud.

“Well, at least that explains it,” Michael finally said.

Everybody laughed. I held off for as long as I could, then I joined in.

“Gee whiz,” I said. “Thanks for the sympathy.”

“You don’t need our sympathy,” Carol said. “You just need to not screw things up with John.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I said.

“Screw’s not a swear?” Christine said. “How is screw not a swear?”

“Would you knock it off with the swear quizzes?” Carol said.

“Yeah, holy heck, Chris,” Billy Jr. said.

“Fork you,” Christine said.

“What do you think is going to happen in there?” I said. “With Johnny?”

“I think Kim might be over him,” Carol said.

“Then why did we send him in there?” Christine said. “To tell you the truth, I was never that crazy about Kim.”

“It’s a fact of life,” Carol said, “that sometimes our siblings will marry people we can’t stand. If it works out, we keep our mouths shut. If it looks like it’s not going to work out, we give them the minimum amount of truth to get the job done.”

“Right,” I said. “You guys are so gentle with your truth telling.”

“One, two, three, fifteen,” Billy Jr. said. “Okay, time’s up—let’s go.”

When Carol pulled the minivan into the parking lot at Jake’s Seafood, the first thing we saw was the pink Bark & Roll Forever ice cream truck.

“Surprise, surprise,” I said. “Dad sure gets around, doesn’t he?”

“I told you,” Carol said, “I’m making sure he has a date every night. There’s no way in hell I’m changing diapers for the offspring of some embarrassingly young stepmother.”

“What?” Christine said.

“I don’t want to know about it,” Michael said.

“Ditto,” Billy Jr. said.

“Carol’s just being delusional,” I said. “But if Dad’s inside with a date, maybe we should find another place to get a drink. You know, so we don’t get in the way of his razzle dazzling.”

“Too bad we’re not in Savannah,” Michael said. “They have an open container law there. You know, it’s legal to walk around with your drinks. Now there’s a civilized custom.”