‘I didn’t want you to know about it. I didn’t want you to know I’d fucked up again.’

‘Language.’ She frowned.

‘I didn’t want you thinking I’d failed.’ He paused. ‘Again.’

‘But you must have realised I’d find out. And you think by running away you were doing me a favour?’ she said almost laughing.

‘I understood it didn’t look good,’ Andrew admitted chewing his lip. ‘But I didn’t do it.’

‘I know that, you silly boy.’ His mother hissed. ‘But rather than tell the truth you decided to break the law. You’ve caused me more pain than you will ever know. I needed you, Andrew. I needed to be with my son.’ This was the first time in their relationship that either of them had ever spoken so openly. It was a revelation to Veronica. She felt good telling her son how she felt. ‘I know you and your father never really saw eye to eye. You are very different people.’

Andrew considered correcting her tense but decided against it. He was in enough trouble with her already.

‘By running away you made yourself look guilty. Do you know how I struggled with that?’ Andrew hung his head, not wanting to hear any more. ‘I feel like I’ve lost you as well as your father. What have I done to deserve this? Please, tell me what I’ve done?’

‘I didn’t kill the bastard,’ Andrew suddenly erupted. ‘But you’re acting as if this is all my fault. Like you always do. Like he always did.’

‘That’s not fair.’ She spoke more quietly, trying to calm the conversation. ‘We both love you.’

Andrew put his head in his hands. ‘You know what, Ma, I think maybe you do, but I know that he never did.’

A long silence filled the space between them. Veronica reached out her hand across the table and for a while Andrew just looked at it.

‘Your father loved you. He just wasn’t very good at showing it.’ This was the excuse Veronica had used time and time again.

‘You think he loved you?’ Andrew asked. Veronica went quiet. ‘Because all he ever did was spend time in that bookshop or on his hobbies. He didn’t love anyone except himself. I’m glad he’s dead.’

Those four words cut through Veronica’s heart like a knife.

‘Go home, Ma,’ he said finally.

‘I’m all you’ve got.’ Her eyes filled with tears. ‘Don’t do this. Don’t give up on me.’

‘It’s too late. Give up. I’m going down for a proper stretch this time. Get on with your life and forget about me.’

‘You are all I have left. Don’t ask me to lose you and your father. I couldn’t stand it. I don’t care about your mistakes. You are my son. I love you.’