“The Shepherd!” wailed Umbrage in a desolate voice. “The Shepherd will never speak to me again. I have turned my back upon him and have disobeyed his voice. He will not help me now, Mercy, for he warned me what would happen. And I hardened my heart and would not listen, and I ‘have done despite to the Spirit of Grace,’ and have ‘drawn back,’ and he will say that it is impossible to do anything for me for I have brought everything upon myself by disobedience. Oh, if only I had listened to him! If only I could go back to the time before I sinned!”

“He will say nothing of the sort,” cried Mercy earnestly. “You know, you must know, that you are saying what is not true about him. Why, he has only waited with the utmost love and patience until the time should come when you would be ready at last to listen to him and to seek his help.”

“Then what is the meaning of that terrible passage in the Scriptures?” asked Umbrage despairingly, “which says: ‘Of how much sorer punishment … shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God … and hath done despite unto the Spirit of Grace?’ … ‘If we sin willfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, but a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation.…’ ‘It is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift … if they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame’” (Heb. 10:29, 26-27; 6:4, 6).

“Dear Umbrage,” said Mercy earnestly, “do you not see that those verses do not and cannot apply to you, for you are repentant? You do not need me or anyone else to try to persuade or force you to repent. The sure evidence that one has done despite to the Spirit of Grace is that he has lost all power to desire repentance and restoration. Indeed, he wants to go on crucifying the Son of God afresh and to reject the Holy Spirit. But you! You are longing beyond all words to be restored and to be in communion with the Savior again, and you can find no rest or peace until you are. That is a sure sign that his Spirit is even now working in you and beginning to restore you.”

“But,” said Umbrage, still in a tone of utter despair, “what about that verse which says that Esau, when he wanted to repent could not do so? ‘Ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears’ (Heb. 12:17). You see, it was too late for him to be forgiven even when he wanted to repent.”