Fabian took a few deep breaths in an attempt to regain a modicum of composure. ‘Maybe I’ve been naïve, but I’ve actually always felt you could come to me. And of course it hurts to be told I was wrong about that all this time. To be told how bad I’ve been at making you feel like I’m always there for you. But unlike you, at least I can accept that without feeling a need to blame everyone else. Those were my choices. If I could do it over, a lot of things would have been different, believe me. What I can control, though, are the choices I make now and in the future. And one of them is that I’ve decided to try to become a better dad who’s there for you. Maybe it’s too late. But better late than never. That’s why I’m nagging you about family dinner. That’s why I’m standing here now, even though you want nothing more than to throw me out of here and the stench is making me feel sick. I’ve also decided not to accept you sinking further and further into depression.’

‘When you’re depressed, you’re depressed.’ Theodor shrugged. ‘You can’t just choose for it to be over.’

‘No, but you can choose to handle it the right way, instead of pretending like nothing’s happening.’

‘What do you mean, the right way? There’s no right way in this fucking—’

‘There is, actually, and it starts with the truth!’

Theodor was struggling with a growing lump in his throat. ‘And then what? After I tell them?’ he said in a voice so brittle it sounded like it was about to break. ‘Then what happens? What happens to me?’

Fabian considered how to respond but never got the chance.

‘Theo, no one here has the answers, no one can tell you exactly what’s going to happen.’

Fabian turned around and saw Sonja in the doorway.

‘What Dad’s trying to tell you is that there are no alternatives.’

‘But you said I didn’t have to if I didn’t want to. That it was up to me, if I—’

‘Yes, I know I said that. But I’ve thought about this for almost two days, and I’ve realized Dad’s right. Much as we might want to, we can’t pretend nothing happened. It’s going to haunt you until you face up to it, once and for all.’

For the first time since Fabian could remember, he and Sonja were standing united. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it in silent gratitude.

Theodor looked back and forth between them while he struggled with the lump in his throat. Silence fell. A silence that neither Fabian nor Sonja wanted to break by saying the wrong thing.