The following morning I was sitting on the couch reading the PI book when Mom rang my doorbell. I opened the door to find her dressed in a poncho and mariachi hat. On her feet were bright red Converse high-tops and in one hand she held a plastic bag.
“I thought you got in last night.” I motioned for her to come into the house.
She looked confused. “I did.”
“Then why are you still dressed like that?”
Mom laughed. “The poncho and hat are for Jim and this is for you and Laurie.” She handed me the plastic bag.
I peeked inside. A matching pair of red Converse and a set of maracas.
“The shoes are for you and the maracas for Laurie. Where is she?”
“Why did you get me Converse?”
“Because they’re comfortable. Look at this!” She ran in place. “My bunions were killing me on the cruise. I could barely walk, but then I found these in a two-for sale.”
“Two-for?”
“Two for one! I thought of you!”
I kissed her. “Thanks, Mom.”
Mom looked offended. “Why do you say it like that?” “Like what? All I said was thanks!”
“You’re not going to wear them, are you?”
“Well, I don’t normally wear Converse. They’re for teenagers. Boy teenagers.”
Maybe I’d give them to Kenny.
“That’s not true,” Mom said.
“I’ll try them on.” I sat on the couch and kicked off my house slippers. “Thank you for getting Galigani to sponsor me,” I said, lacing up the left shoe.
Mom nodded and took off the hat and poncho, then proceeded to place the items on my dining room table. “Coffee?” she asked.
“In the kitchen.” I laced up the shoe.
Hmmm. It was comfortable.
“Where are Jim and Laurie?” Mom called as she disappeared to the kitchen.
“Jim went for a run. Laurie’s in the nursery.”
Mom reappeared in the living room and placed her cup on the coffee table. She grabbed the maracas and headed to the nursery singing a goofy made-up song and shaking the maracas like crazy.
“Mom, you’re going to wake her.”
I heard Laurie let out a loud scream that escalated to a pitch that could break crystal. I ran into the nursery with my Converse on my feet.
Hey, I ran fast in these shoes.
Mom had Laurie in her arms. “I don’t know why she doesn’t like the maracas. She’s going to be just like her mommy—difficult to shop for.”
We decided to bathe Laurie as I filled Mom in on the last few days. I told her about Celia being hospitalized but left out the part about me and Laurie.
As I put warm water in the baby tub, Mom undressed Laurie. She placed her in the tub and poured a few cupfuls of water over her. Laurie cooed from pure enjoyment. I pulled out the Magic Moments cradle cap cream.
Mom frowned. “What’s that?”
“It’s special cream so she doesn’t get cradle cap.”
Mom examined Laurie’s head. “She doesn’t have cradle cap.”
“I know. I’ve been using this stuff. Smell.” I stuck the bottle under Mom’s nose.
Mom crinkled her nose. “You don’t need special cream, just use soap and water. That’s what I did with you and your brother.”
“That’s because they didn’t have Magic Moments when I was a baby,” I taunted her.
“How much did you pay for that?”
“Too much probably, and it wasn’t a two-for sale,” I said.
Mom laughed at me. “You were had!”
The phone rang, interrupting us. I left Mom to bathe Laurie and answered the call.
“Kate? This is Mandy from Gary Barramendi’s office.”
I snapped to attention. “Yes! Hi. Um, uh . . . I mean, hello!”
“Gary would like the daily report. I’ll transfer you now.”
Daily report?
Oh no! I had forgotten. What was I supposed to tell him?
I cleared my throat, hoping to sound professional and not like I’d just been bathing my infant and arguing with my mother.
“Good morning, Mrs. Connolly. Any news?” Gary asked.
“Good morning.” Good, my voice sounded fine—intelligent even! “Yes. I interviewed Celia yesterday.”
There! I did have something to report!
“Interview? I thought you were going to stake her out.”
Shoot!
“Uh . . .”
“Anything relevant?” he probed.
What could I tell him about? The stakeout and interview had been a complete dud?
Before I could think of an answer, Gary said, “That’s my other line, I have to take it. I’ll look forward to reading the transcript.”
“Transcript?” I squawked.
“You do tape your interviews, don’t you?”
I was supposed to tape them?
“Uh . . . no . . . I mean . . . yes. Of course. Just not this one. I had a problem with my . . . device.”
“It happens. Okay, type up a summary and fax it to Mandy.”
I hung up as the front door squeaked open.
Jim appeared, dripping from his run. “Look at what the cat dragged in,” he said.
Paula trailed him. “Looks more like you’ve been dragged. What happened to you?” she teased.
Jim laughed, greeted Mom, then kissed me. “I’m jumping in the shower.”
Mom stopped him. “Wait! Look at what I brought back for you!”
She handed a towel-wrapped Laurie to me and proceeded to put on the poncho. She threw the mariachi hat onto the floor and sang the tune to the “Mexican Hat Dance.”
Paula laughed hysterically watching Mom dance around in the red Converse and poncho.
Jim looked concerned. “Is that safe?”
Mom frowned. “What’s unsafe about it?”
Paula pointed to my feet, still clad in the Converse, and giggled. Jim simply shook his head.
“I love the ‘Mexican Hat Dance,’ ” Paula said.
“The ‘Jarabe Tapatío’!” Mom exclaimed with the worst Spanish accent imaginable. “How was Paris?”
As they caught up with each other, Jim showered and I got Laurie dressed. When I’d finished, I joined them in the living room and brought Paula up to speed on my interview with Celia.
“Was Celia on that cruise?” Paula asked.
“No,” I said.
“If she’s not a suspect for killing Helene, why didn’t you just ask her if she’s seeing Alan?” Paula asked. “If I was dating a married man who was suspected of murder, I’d want to know.”
Mom rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “People don’t generally tell the truth about affairs, though. Do they? Especially to someone she knows is friendly with the wife. No. If she’s in love with him, then she’ll protect him.”
“Not if he poisoned her,” Paula said.
“We don’t know that, and even still,” Mom said, “maybe they’re working together. Maybe she allowed the podiatrist to give her a little something to knock her out but not kill her. If he’s a doctor, he would know about dosages and the like.”
I sat to attention.
Paula shook her head. “That’s crazy.”
“Is it?” I asked.
I hadn’t considered that option. Could Celia and Alan be working together? Or Celia and Bruce, for that matter?
“You should just ask her about Alan,” Paula insisted.
I shook my head. “She knows I’m working for Margaret. She knows I would report it to her.”
We sat in silence for a moment.
Suddenly Paula said, “I could ask her. I’ll go to her midwife center and pretend I’m looking for a midwife. She won’t suspect me of being connected to you.”
Mom jumped up. “And I can see the podiatrist! He can look at my bunions!”
Paula leapt up. She and Mom sprang into a spontaneous rendition of the “Jarabe Tapatío.” I turned Laurie on my lap so she was sitting up and facing them. She let out a little giggle and pedaled her feet as though she wanted to dance, too.
I watched them dance with more verve than a sixty-year-old woman with bunions and seven-months-pregnant woman should have.
When they’d finished, I said, “Even though I think you two should really get out a bit more, I can’t let you do this.”
“What?” Mom exclaimed. “Why not? We’re the perfect undercover team! No one will suspect a thing!”
“You have no training or experience,” I said.
This comment launched them into hysterics. Paula could barely breathe as she grabbed my copy of The Complete Idiot’s Guide and waved it around, making Mom double over and gasp for air.
Jim appeared, freshly showered and looking relaxed. “If there’s going to be more singing and dancing here, I’ll have to leave immediately,” he said.
“Don’t worry!” Paula patted his shoulder. “Mom and I are on a mission. We’ll be out of here shortly!”
I pressed the bridge of my nose. “Are you sure about this, guys?”
Mom and Paula nodded emphatically. Jim simply looked from one to the other then back at me.
“You both have good pretexts. I learned that this morning,” I said, pointing to the book Paula still had in her hand.
“I don’t know what that is,” Mom said, “but don’t worry, darling, we’ll do it for free.”
“Don’t you have to get back to Danny?” I asked Paula.
“My in-laws took Danny to the lake cabin last night and David’s at work. So, I have nothing better to do.”
“If you’re bored, you can always stay here and do laundry,” I said.
Paula and Mom both shook their heads.
“All right,” I said reluctantly. “Honey, can you run down to Radio Shack for us? I need you to buy some stuff for a tap.”
“A what?” Jim asked.
“Gary wants all my interviews to be recorded and this book I’m reading has a chapter on how to do it.”
“I can record mine on my phone! It’s got a cool voice recording feature,” Paula said.
“No. You can’t do that. What are you going to do?” I imitated Paula voice: “Celia, tell me if you’re having an affair with Alan. Clunk.” I pantomimed putting down the phone on the table. “Pretty conspicuous.”
“I wouldn’t do it like that,” Paula said.
“I thought you couldn’t record anybody without their permission. It’s illegal,” Jim said.
“Technically yes, that’s true. But I’m not going to submit it as evidence or anything. If we get any information relevant to the case, then Gary would have to depose them.”
“Depose, ooh. You’re using fancy words now,” Paula said.
“Can you tell I’ve been studying? Anyway, I just want to feel like I was there or you two will end up having to repeat the entire conversation for me and it’s very likely we could miss something.”
“Yeah. I’m ready to be wired!” Mom said.
Jim patted her arm. “Don’t worry, Mom, you already are.”