Back Mix Tape
Chapters (37)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. MIX TAPE
  4. Dedication
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. Song Credits
  36. Acknowledgements
  37. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

‘Well, OK, but it felt different. Maybe I was in denial for weeks on end, but I didn’t think you could have an affair with someone when they’re ten thousand miles away, and all you’re doing is swapping songs.’

‘Aye, well, that was an error for a kick-off, music being the food of love and all that.’

Dan laughed grimly. ‘You got that right. I should never have gone over there. I should’ve kept her as a fantasy, the one that got away, because we went from heaven to hell in no time flat.’

‘Aye, it sounds rough.’

‘I can’t understand why she caved in so spectacularly. She just lost all that … oh, all that strength and faith. One minute we were together in Sheila’s spare room, the next we were staring at each other like boxers in our fucking corners, from opposite sides of the living room.’

‘You were in bed when he showed up?’

Dan shuddered. ‘No, we were just sitting there, listening to music.’

‘What music?’

‘Bunnymen.’

‘Crocodiles?’

Dan nodded and Duncan said, ‘Class.’

‘Y’see,’ Dan said, pointing at him. ‘You’re doing it again, getting sidetracked by the sodding music.’

‘Sorry.’ He took a long drink, emptying his glass, then put it down and said, ‘No, I’m not getting sidetracked, though, because the music’s central, isn’t it? It was the music that took you places, melted your hearts and all that, and I bet that’s what she’ll be doing now, listening to the songs you sent her, thinking about you, because you started it, and you bloody nailed it, sending her “Pump It Up”, and it’s not even a love song. I’m jealous. I wish I’d done it.’

He got up to fetch a couple more pints, and Dan thought about Alison, listening to his songs. Was she? He’d had an idea that she might have deleted the lot, cleared their thread of music so that her phone was innocent, the trail gone cold. But then, she was still sending songs. Well, she’d sent two – there’d been none since yesterday – but two stellar choices, the sort of choices that, if he’d allowed himself to listen and reimagine those lyrics as a message from Alison, he’d have had to concede, again, that she was the woman for him, and that this was love of a rare and exceptional kind … except there was the unassailable fact, wasn’t there, of her hasty retreat?

‘She ditched me though,’ Dan said, as soon as Duncan approached the table. ‘The second her husband was in the picture, she ditched me.’

Duncan pulled a face, shook his head. ‘Well, be fair,’ he said. ‘What would you have done if it’d been Katelin who stormed in?’

Dan answered at once. ‘Held my ground. I certainly wouldn’t have done what Alison did.’