Back Mix Tape
Chapters (37)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. MIX TAPE
  4. Dedication
  5. 1
  6. 2
  7. 3
  8. 4
  9. 5
  10. 6
  11. 7
  12. 8
  13. 9
  14. 10
  15. 11
  16. 12
  17. 13
  18. 14
  19. 15
  20. 16
  21. 17
  22. 18
  23. 19
  24. 20
  25. 21
  26. 22
  27. 23
  28. 24
  29. 25
  30. 26
  31. 27
  32. 28
  33. 29
  34. 30
  35. Song Credits
  36. Acknowledgements
  37. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

How swift and disappointing was that journey from heartsease to sheer panic, and how undignified. Ali caught what Sheila said, Dan didn’t, so he was startled when she leapt up, dragging the bud from his ear, and he said, ‘Hey, what’s up?’ but she didn’t answer him, didn’t even hear. Michael was downstairs. This fact had an instant physiological effect on her, whipped her heart into a racing overdrive, turned her blood to a kind of poison which coursed through her body spreading fear and self-loathing; it melted her resolve, and shattered her promises, so recently made.

‘Alison, what is it?’ Dan asked. He was on his feet now, trying to reach her, but she’d gone – not physically, no, she was still in the room, but she wasn’t seeing him, wasn’t hearing him, she was simply trying to process the fact that her husband was downstairs, waiting to speak to her. Dan grabbed her arm, made her turn. ‘What is it?’ he asked again, very emphatically.

‘Michael’s here,’ Ali said, and she shook her arm free and ran from the room. She would regret this later, regret not taking time to talk with Dan about how to navigate this first great obstacle on their long road to happiness. She would regret her craven instincts, her childish fear, her inability to react with dignity and calm at the first hurdle. But that would be later. Now, she only wanted to be clear of suspicion and blame, keep everything in its place, preserve the status quo. She did at least register her own shock and disappointment at how weak she’d proved when courage was called for, but she didn’t express this out loud, and all Dan witnessed was the flight.

But he wasn’t going to hide upstairs; he wasn’t going to oblige by playing the role of Ali’s guilty secret. Some signal, instinct or information had brought this guy, this Michael, up to Quorn to confront his wife, so, thought Dan, let him confront the lover too, let’s ramp up the emotion in this next act of their drama. He clattered down the wooden stairs after her, so when he appeared in the living room it was only seconds after Ali had got there, but she was already standing with Michael, and they stared at Dan together, two against one.