“Will I be caring what she says?” said Judy bitterly to Pat. “Oh, oh, she can’t run me kitchen. She was be way av hanging up a calendar on me wall yesterday right below King William and Quane Victoria…a picture av a big fat girl wid no clothes at all on. I did be taking it down and throwing it in the fire. ‘Sure,’ sez I to her, ‘that hussy is no fit company for ather a king or a quane,’ sez I. And nather was that cousin av hers she had here yesterday in a bathing suit. She come in as bould as brass wid her great bare fat legs and did be setting on yer Great-grandfather Nehemiah’s chair, wid thim crossed. And thim not aven a dacent white…sun-tan she did be calling it…more like the color av skim milk cheese. Tillytuck just took one look and flid to the granary. I cudn’t be trating her as I did the calendar but I sez, ‘People that fond av showing their legs ought to be dieting a bit,’ sez I. ‘You quaint thing!’ sez she. Oh, oh, it’s thanking the Good Man Above I am she didn’t call me priceless. It do be her fav’rite ajective. But whin May did be saying that one-pace bathing suits were all the fashion now and did I ixpict people to go bathing in long dresses and crinolines, I sez, ‘Oh, oh, far be it from me to be like yer Aunt Ellice, May,’ sez I. ‘Whin her nace sint her a statue av the Venus av Mily for a Christmas prisent she did be putting a dress on it, rale tasty, afore she showed it to her frinds. I’m not objicting to legs as legs,’ sez I, ‘spacially at the shore where they do be plinty av background for thim, but whin they’re as big and fat as yer lady cousin’s,’ sez I, ‘they do be a bit overpowering in me kitchen.’ ‘Ivery one thinks that Emma looks stunning in her suit,’ sez May. ‘Stunning do be the right word,’ sez I. ‘Ye saw the iffict she had on Tillytuck and he’s not a man asily upset,’ sez I. ‘As for the fashion,’ sez I, ‘av coorse what one monkey does all the other monkeys will be doing,’ sez I. Me fine May sez that I’d insulted her frind and hadn’t a word to throw to a dog all day but I’m liking her far better whin she’s sulky than whin she’s frindly. She did be trying to pump me about Cleaver this morning but I wasn’t knowing innything. Do there be innything to know, Patsy dear?”

“Not a thing,” said Pat with a smile.